


Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is an asshole

by firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin



Series: Monsta X sunny summer fic bingo [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkward Romance, Enemies to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Monsta X Bingo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:26:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7686238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin/pseuds/firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lim Changkyun knows exactly four things in his life.<br/>First: Lee Jooheon doesn’t like him.<br/>Second: Lee Jooheon is an idiot.<br/>Third: he wants to punch Lee Jooheon.<br/>Fourth: Lee Jooheon has the most kissable lips Changkyun’s ever seen.</p><p><b>alternatively:</b> Changkyun doesn’t know whether to punch or kiss Jooheon, and the other boy’s not making it any easier for him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. why'd you think i do the things i do?

**Author's Note:**

> #2 PROMPT: Enemies to Lovers AU
> 
> It's kind of fun to think that I don't have any idea what I'm doing lol the idea's still a little blurred inside my head, but I'm almost 95% percent sure that this isn't going to turn into a pudgy mass of feelings and angst ~~no promises though because I'm a little shit and I have no heart~~  
>  Hope you all like it! :D
> 
> Obs.: English isn't my mother tongue D: sorry for any mistake made!

**i.m.what.i.m:** honestly, i hate him so much

 **i.m.what.i.m:** like, i mean, people can have breakfast at the hour they want but

 **i.m.what.i.m:** 4am ???

 **i.m.what.i.m:** who the hell does that ???

Hoseok blinks slowly to the glowing phone, frowning to his best friend’s messages. He hates who? And who’s making breakfast at four in the morning? _Why the hell_ is Changkyun even awake? He groans and starts tapping.

 **won.ho:** wtf r u talkin’ about man

The answer takes too long, almost long enough for Hoseok to start hoping that his friend’s fast asleep. Don’t mind him, Hoseok loves Changkyun, but he needs to sleep at least seven hours to keep himself awake during the morning ― even because Hyungwon would totally _kill him_ if he set the kitchen on fire again for not paying enough attention to what he’s doing, and Kihyun would probably help the traitor to hide the body. Hoseok rubs his eyes tiredly, stretching and trying to find a better position to sleep.

Just when he starts dozing off again, his phone rings.

 **i.m.what.i.m:** lee jooheon, ofc

 **i.m.what.i.m:** oh my god

 **i.m.what.i.m:** my god help me

 **i.m.what.i.m:** he sTOLE MY MILK, WONHO

 _What the fuck, Changkyun._ Hoseok shakes his head in disbelief. He can’t believe the kid woke him up just to complain about one of his roommates ― he can’t believe his beauty sleep was interrupted just so Changkyun can have someone to whom whine.

 **won.ho:** kill him w/a fork or smthng

 **i.m.what.i.m:** i can’t, gun woke up and is telling us to shut up

 **i.m.what.i.m:** gun’s fine

 **i.m.what.i.m:** i wouldn’t kill him just so i could kill jooheon

Hoseok facepalms.

 **won.ho:** idk then, buddy

 **won.ho:** why r u even awake?

Changkyun takes another minute or so to answer.

 **i.m.what.i.m:** i was going to make breakfast

*

“Honestly, why both of you keep bickering each other all the time?”

Changkyun’s sulking since they arrived the campus, and, although Hoseok usually doesn’t like to put his nose in somebody else’s cup of tea, he’s kind of feeling guilty for leaving him to complain to a dead phone earlier. He doesn’t think so, but maybe talking about it will make the younger stop pouting.

“I mean, I got the whole thing about you being jealous of him and Gun, but I don’t understand it.”

He regrets his choice as soon as Changkyun gives him a pointed look.

“I’m not jealous of him and Gun!”

“Okay.” Hoseok sighs, but, honestly, Changkyun totally is. He decides not to be an ass and don’t pick up on his best friend about it, for now. “But I’m serious, tell me. Why do you hate each other so much?”

Changkyun furrows his eyebrows together like he always does when he’s thinking too hard. Hoseok watches him carefully, considering his best friend’s posture, searching for something that can give away any information about the subject. There’s nothing besides Changkyun’s usual grumpy face and his tiredness for waking up too early and not sleeping enough.

“Has he done anything to you?”

“Yes. No. I mean.” Changkyun cringes. “Besides the pranks, you mean? No, he didn’t.”

“Then what’s the point of all of this? I mean, if he didn’t do anything to you, and I’m sure you didn’t do anything to him, so I don’t understand why you fight him so much.”

Hoseok really doesn’t understand. If it was for revenge, he’d understand; if it was just for fun, he’d understand too. But he knows it’s not. He doesn’t get it, and he wants to help ― even if it’s just to mess things up a little more, if there’s a reason behind it, he wants to help ―, but Changkyun needs to tell him first.

“And it’s no that I hate, like, _hate_ him.” the younger shrugs. “I just don’t like him. And he doesn’t like me. So, we just – kind of roll with it? I never thought about it like this.”

Hoseok never knows when Changkyun’s telling the truth or lying ― the kid’s poker face always fools him ―, but right now his instincts are telling him not to trust when _Lim Changkyun_ tells that he ‘never thought about it’. The younger’s one of the most paranoid people he knows, so Hoseok decides to follow his guts and go for trial and error.

“It’s because he’s a rapper like you, but more known?”

“What?” Changkyun gives him a startled, slightly offended look. “Of course it’s not!”

Hoseok never thought it was, but it’s good to hear anyway. He never properly talked to Jooheon, but he knows Gunhee, and he knows the boy would never have a friend who thinks they’re better than others, because he himself is nothing like that ― maybe that’s how Gun ended up kind of adopting Changkyun when the boy entered the underground, saving Hoseok from needing to follow the young everywhere to make sure he wasn’t going to get into trouble. Gun befriended Changkyun, decided to help him, and Jooheon, already well-known at the time, never said anything against the matter. Hoseok likes people who know the difference between being arrogant and being confident ― and Jooheon’s certainly the latter.

“Then it’s because he makes you nervous?”

Changkyun looks at him like Hoseok’s grown a second head.

“ _Jooheon?_ He making _me_ nervous?” he laughs. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same guy?”

Hoseok rolls his eyes.

“Ok, then, you’re making me run out of options here. It has something to do with the toaster?”

“No, it hasn’t anything to – wait. How do you know about that?”

“I know everything. And you’re avoiding the subject. Why don’t you like him?”

At this point, they’re not even walking anymore; they’re just standing, staring awkwardly at each other. Changkyun’s holding his books against his chest, Hoseok’s with his hands on his pockets, and they look at each other until the younger’s shoulders start to tense up.

“He doesn’t like me, so I don’t like him. Why are you being so insistent?”

Hoseok knows when he hits a nerve ― he knows that he’ll end up making his best friend upset if he keeps going on and on about Lee Jooheon. He decides to take a step back on the subject, giving the other a soft smile. Changkyun relaxes almost instantly.

“I was just curious. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” the younger shrugs. “I just – I don’t know. He’s cool and all, but he’s an idiot, and so I don’t like him. Is that too crazy?”

_Yes, it is. I mean, you don’t even have a reason and you keep saying that he doesn’t like you, but? How do you know that? He said it to you personally? He didn’t? I’m kind of lost here, please, send some help._

“Nope. Not crazy at all.”

* * *

**won.ho:** gun we need to talk

 **sharp.to.the.g:** what about

 **sharp.to.the.g:** ??

 **won.ho:** are jooheon and/or changkyun next to u?

 **sharp.to.the.g:** nope

 **sharp.to.the.g:** what are we doing w/them?

 **won.ho:** they r going to be friends

 **won.ho:** even if it’s the last thing i do

 **won.ho:** and u r gonna help me

 **sharp.to.the.g:** ooh savage

 **sharp.to.the.g:** i’m in


	2. i wish you were a stranger i could disengage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Promised Gun-ah I’d try to be good with you today.”  
> “By breaking into my room and stealing my things?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG WHERE DID ALL OF YOU CAME FROM O_O
> 
> I need to admit that having so many people with expectations about my story made me really nervous about it ç-ç ~~I don't seem so, but I'm shy, don't mind me~~ (also, I DO talk a lot when I'm answering/saying things ~~because I talk a lot when I'm anxious~~ If it bothers you, tell me and I'll try and stop it! D:)
> 
> I kind of hope to make everything right and not to disappoint all of you? ~~omfg that's _hard_~~ Thank you for your reviews and kudos, though! They really made my month  <3
> 
> Have fun! :|3  
>  ~~or not~~  
>  ~~who knows~~

Changkyun comes home after a long day of hearing Wonho complaining about his ‘oh-too-long’ classes (“ _why do they even keep that shit so early? I didn’t sign up for any of that!_ ”, “ _man, you totally did_ ”, “ _I didn’t!_ ”) and trying not to think about the fact that tonight he’ll have his first _real_ contest in the underground scene ― sure, he did a presentation or two before, but that’s not the same thing. He wasn’t _competing_ for a place, he was merely covering for people who couldn’t be there at the time, and, honestly, at the point everyone was so high ― by alcohol, drugs or pure excitement ― that they didn’t even care about it.

He wouldn’t have the stomach to face it now if it wasn’t for that, Changkyun concludes when his heart makes a funny thing inside his ribcage, beating as fast as hummingbird’s wings only for thinking about it. He feels nauseated and wants to sleep a little ― or a lot, who knows ― before Gun comes to call him for the show time.

Of course that, as life seems to love throwing his dreams out the window, sleeping is the last thing he’ll be able to do right now.

“ _What the hell_ are you doing in my room?”

Jooheon looks up from the comic in his hands ― some old Batman thing that Changkyun bought a long, long time ago ―, and, if he wasn’t so comfortably sprawled out on the younger’s bed, Changkyun would think he _almost_ looks truly confused, with his eyebrows slightly furrowed and all.

“Excuse me?”

Changkyun’s not in the mood to deal with him. Really. _He’s not._

“Get out.” he squints his eyes at the older’s fake innocent features, not buying it one bit. “I don’t know what you’re doing here and I honestly don’t want to.”

Jooheon rolls his eyes. Changkyun wants to hit him with his lampshade.

“I can’t.” before the other can say anything in the matter, Jooheon stretches and adds in a lazy manner: “Promised Gun-ah I’d try to be good with you today.”

Damned be Gunhee and his habit of trying to set them up, ugh.

“By breaking into my room and stealing my things?”

Jooheon finally seems to get annoyed by his tone, sitting in the bed and glaring at him.

“Hey, it’s not my fault if he thinks you’ll freak out completely before your contest.” and, then, he puts the comic on the nightstand ― ignoring completely the horrified look Changkyun gives him for taking his things and then putting them on wrong places. “But, you know, you seem the type.”

Changkyun doesn’t like the cocky smile he receives at the end of the sentence. He knows he’s going to regret it later ― he _always_ regrets it later ―, but asks anyway:

“Type? What type?”

Jooheon’s eyes shine with amusement, his dimples showing off on the way his lips turn up at the corners.

“The one who throws a tantrum before their first show. You didn’t do it when you replaced Kwangji and Yoonho, did you? I don’t really remember.”

Changkyun blinks.

He counts to ten.

He blinks again.

When Changkyun finally grabs the lampshade, Jooheon’s already halfway through the corridor, laughing.

*

“What happened to your face?”

Gunhee’s amused voice makes Jooheon get out of his sulking spot, scowling at his best friend. Changkyun ignores both of them, and Hoseok ― who’s right behind Gun ― arches an eyebrow at him, with a look that clearly says ‘ _I know what you did in the last summer_ ’ ― and, well, whatever. It’s not like he doesn’t have any guilt in that matter.

“Your _poor_ favorite buddy hit me with a lamp.” Jooheon rubs his chin in the slightly red bruise that formed after Changkyun threw the said object on him. “Couldn’t even use a pillow for it!”

“It wouldn’t hurt.” Changkyun shrugs when Gunhee blinks in complete surprise and Hoseok sighs deeply, like he’s asking himself for the millionth time why he still hangs out with them. “What’s the point of hitting you if you’re not going to regret what you did?”

“What _I_ did?” Jooheon pulls a offended face, his right hand dramatically holding his chest. “I wasn’t the one kicking you out of the room!”

“It was _my_ room. And my bed.”

“I was there because Gun told me to!”

“But I didn’t –”

“Ok, ok, enough!” Hoseok puts himself between them, a frown on his face. “Stop arguing, you two!”

Changkyun crosses his arms above his chest. Jooheon looks away, still scowling. Silence settles over them for a moment, until Gunhee decides to speak up once more ― avoiding the subject of ‘Changkyun and Jooheon fighting for the billionth time’ ―, giving their maknae a small smile.

“Anxious for your first time in the stage?”

“Don’t even talk about it.” Jooheon mumbles, mostly to himself. “He might get a lamp out of nowhere to hit you too.”

Changkyun decides to ignore him.

“Not much, I think.” he bites his lips and looks briefly at the crowd that starts to form inside the club. “It was worse before.”

“Are you sure you want to do that today?” Hoseok approaches him, his eyes worried, one hand shoting up to hold one of Changkyun’s shoulders in a comforting act. “We can always say you got sick or anything like that, one of the guys can cover it up for you.”

Gunhee seems to have the same thing in mind, considering the way he watches them carefully; and even Jooheon, who turns to look at them in a curious way. Changkyun’s stomach churns and his hands are a bit shaky, but he refuses to run away, because, if he does, he’ll probably never get back where he is right now ― he can’t just throw away a chance like that.

He chooses to give his friends a reassurance with a confidence he himself doesn’t feel.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jooheon’s eyes tell that there are a lot of reasons for ‘ _why_ ’ ― he speaks none of them.

Changkyun decides he didn’t want to know, anyway.

 

From the stage, the crowd gives a completely different feeling.

It’s not anxiety, nor it is _fear_.

It’s pure energy, flowing from all the people, following the hit, founding it’s way into his bones and dictating the rhythm of his heart ― _thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump_.

The thundering sound of all speakers with the same melody, the bodies moving, the smell of sweat and alcohol and _excitement_ in the air.

Changkyun decides he did the right choice.

He decides he did _the best_ choice _ever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! \o I'll probably update again in the next Monday OR after, it all depends on how bad school will leave me .__. anyway. Hope you all liked it! <3
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld)
> 
> 'Til next time! :D


	3. falling in slow motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh my god, you have a crush on him!”  
> “What?”  
> “ _You_ have a crush on _him!_ ”  
> “No, _I don’t!_ ”  
> “You totally do!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are kinda slow, but that's how I'm used to/familiar with writing ~~so I'm not entirely sorry about it?~~  
>  also::::::::::: Gunhee's totally smooth, okay? ~~no hE'S NOT, HE'S A TOTAL DORK~~
> 
> Anyway, I'm happy about how things are going <3 ~~fight me~~  
>  and happy to be able to keep writing it without making the time between updates too long lol
> 
> Thank you for the kudos, comments and bookmarks! <3  
> Hope you enjoy it! :3c

**[A few days later…]**

“ _Jooheonie._ ”

Gunhee’s voice is too sweet, too calm, and Jooheon sixth sense immediately tells him that there’s problem in sight. He closes his eyes, counts to ten and, sighing deeply, looks up from his lyrics notebook to his best friend. Gunhee has _this look_ on his face ― the one he wears when he’s looking for trouble ― and Jooheon knows him for long enough to be sure that this will end badly.

“What do you want?”

Gunhee blinks in feigned surprise.

“Excuse me?”

“You only call me Jooheonie when you want something, Gun-ah.” Jooheon explains, and stretches right after, a dull burning ache in the back of his neck starting to show off. “What is it this time?”

Gunhee keeps the façade for a moment more before noticing it’s _totally_ not working, and then rolls his eyes, throwing it out the window and letting the tension ease off his shoulders. Then, he sits at Jooheon’s side, pushing the notebook from his hands and looking at the lyrics written on it ― this time, the interest in his face is real.

“They’re good.” he says, humming quietly to himself, like he’s playing it inside his head and trying to find a rhythm, a melody.

“They’re not even finished yet.”

Gunhee shrugs.

“They’re still good.”

Jooheon accepts the compliment because, well, he knows Gunhee wouldn’t say this just to make him feel better at his skills ― and, honestly, that’s probably the only thing about himself that Jooheon’s completely proud of, so he kind of doesn’t even want to try and argue to make him think otherwise. Gunhee still takes a good time to look at the lyrics, though, and Jooheon’s starting to get uneasy.

“You didn’t answer my question.” he tries again. “What do you want, Gun-ah?”

“You can’t let me be good to you for too long, can you?” Gunhee sighs dramatically before closing the notebook and putting it back on the table. “I have a question for you.”

Oh. Well. Not what Jooheon was expecting at all ― and that’s _another_ reason to be worried.

“Ok. Shoot.”

“Why do you hate I.M?”

The question is made so bluntly, sounding so sincere, that Jooheon needs a moment to let it sink in. When it finally makes sense, he frowns.

“What are you talking about?”

“You and Changkyun.” Gunhee pokes his cheeks, totally not embarassed for accusing his best friend since childhood of hating one of the people they live with. “You hate him, don’t you? To the point where you two can’t stand each other, and always end up fighting when you’re left alone.”

Jooheon’s frown deepens.

“I don’t hate him. Where did that come from?”

Gunhee completely ignores him, furrowing his eyebrows together just a bit.

“Then why do you keep provoking him?”

Jooheon blinks. Then, his features soften and he shrugs.

“I don’t know. Because it’s funny and he gets all mad at me for it?”

Something he just said caught the attention of Gunhee ― he can tell just by the way his best friend’s shoulders straighten up a bit. That’s the good thing about knowing Gun for so long: Jooheon gets his mood changes and thoughts just by looking at him and seeing how he reacts to the things he says. He knows he won’t be left in peace until he can explain _exatcly_ what he thinks about it, so he doesn’t bother trying to pretend the conversation is over, only waiting for the next question.

“Why is it funny?”

“He pulls that face.” Jooheon tries to imitate Changkyun’s poker face and fails miserably; Gunhee laughs at him and his horrible attempt. “And then he gets all flustered, you know? And starts throwing things at me. I don’t hate him. I just think it’s funny.”

“So, there’s no reason at all? You do it for the sake of doing it?”

Jooheon shrugs.

“Kind of.”

It’s Gunhee times to blink.

“Okay, that was unexpected.”

“What?”

“He throws things at you and you don’t care.” Gunhee sounds confused. “I thought you didn’t like when people do that for no reason at all.”

“I don’t like it.” Jooheon shrugs nonchalantly. “But it’s fun with him.”

Gunhee keeps staring at him, his features hardening slowly, his eyebrows furrowing together. Then, all of a sudden, his eyes widen, his mouth opening in a perfect ‘O’ of surprise, and there it is: _that_ look is back on his face, like he’s discovered the secret of the universe.

“Oh my god, you have a crush on him!”

The affirmation gets Jooheon completely off guard.

“What?”

“ _You_ have a crush on _him!”_

 _What Gunhee’s up to?_ That’s the stupidiest thing Jooheon ever heard him saying ― and, believe him, he heard _a lot_ of stupid things during their friendship time.

“No, _I don’t!_ ”

“You totally do!”

Jooheon groans and hits his head on the table, giving up on trying to make his best friend notice how crazy ― how absolutely _stupid_ ― he sounds. Gunhee’s such an _ass_ when it comes to that outbursts of crazyness he comes with from time to time.

“So, what are you gonna do?”

Jooheon looks up from his suffering spot, not bothering to lift up his head. Gunhee’s staring intently at him, still amused, but there’s something soft in his smile ― just a little bit, almost unnoticeable, and Jooheon decides to ignore it for the sake of his sanity.

“About what?”

“Changkyun.”

Jooheon groans.

“There’s nothing to do about that.”

“Oi, don’t be like – wait. Are you saying…? _Oh my god!_ ”

Jooheon doesn’t know what he did wrong ― he was so focused on the whole absurd thing, he doesn’t have any idea ―, but Gunhee’s wide eyes tell him it was something very, _very bad_. And, honestly, at this point, he should be ready to anything _disastrous_ or _embarassing_ to come by. With Gun, there’s no in-between.

“What? Where are you going?”

“ _You admit it!_ ”

“Gun-ah?”

“Oh shit, shit!”

“What are you talking about?!”

“I’m totally telling Hoseok!”

“Gun-ah, come back! Come back here! _Gun-ah!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~someone needs to control that fanboy~~  
>  ~~because i'm totally not doing that~~  
>   
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld)
> 
> 'Til next time! :D


	4. turn it up we're almost ready to blow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What can go –"  
> "Don't say that."  
> "But I was just –"  
> "Don't. Seriously."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm 17 days later lol  
> but that's okay, i guess, because I wrote 3 chapters and I'm starting the 4th \o  
>  ~~and decided that i definitely don't have any idea about what i'm doing with my life~~  
>  SO the tags changed a little and I changed the number of chapters because it got out of hand lol  
> and I think that's it?  
> I'm getting anxious all over again, I'm sorry lol  
> Hope y'all like it <3

**sharp.to.the.g:** i have a plan

 **won.ho:** should i be worried?

 **sharp.to.the.g:** :)

* * *

 Changkyun can't tell he's not surprised at how everything turned out to be.

Sure, Hoseok kept telling him it was going to be okay, that he's good and he'll get even better ― but he's such a mother hen that Changkyun never tried to tell him otherwise. And it's not like he's insecure about his rap ― Changkyun's not, thank you very much ―, but the idea of being in front of too many people always made him nervous, the idea of performing to a crowd that's not made only by people he knows, but people he'll never know too.

And not only his friends praised him for his performance, but the older boys too. Kwangji told him he did great, BamBam said he wanted to see him on stage more, and even _Jiho_ ― badass, smart, grumpy Jiho ― gave him a respectful nod when Changkyun got out of the stage. It was surreal, it was incredible.

And now he's dealing with the consequences of not freaking out completely during his first official show.

"But Gun! I don't want to go." Gunhee ignores him, still fumbling around the room, picking up clothes only to mumble to himself and make frustrated noises of insatisfaction. Changkyun sighs, resignated. "I have tests to do, man, I need to study. I can't –"

"You totally can." Gunhee interrupts, and furrows his eyebrows together, staring at a flowered button shirt on his hand like it has personally offended him. "What is that?"

"Mom gave it to me." Changkyun rolls his eyes and takes the shirt from his friend's hands. "Serious, Gun. I don't see a reason to go."

Gunhee stops wandering around just to clutch his chest dramatically, and gives him a fake suffering look.

"Am I not reason enough?"

Changkyun blinks, and then frowns.

"Hyung, I see you every day."

"That's beside the point. Am I not?"

"... No?"

Gunhee picks up a new shirt only to throw it at him, but he's laughing, and Changkyun doesn't bother trying to hide his smile. Gunhee shakes his head and crosses his arms, his features softening a bit.

"You don't need to go if you really don't want to, but it'd be cool to have you there."

Oh, well. Smooth approaches work much better than trying to drag him to somewhere. Changkyun's shoulders loosen up slowly.

"Besides, it was Jackson's idea to invite you, me and the other boys just agreed to it." at that, Changkyun's head shots up, his eyes wide with surprise; Gunhee notices it. "What?"

"Jackson? As _Jackson Wang_ Jackson?"

He can't help but get a bit overexcited at the idea. Jackson's friendly, charismatic, but it's almost as hard to get close to him as it is to get a praise from Jiho. Changkyun's heart is doing a funny thing inside his ribcage, like it's about to burst through his chest at any moment.

Changkyun's not a fanboy ― except that he totally is.

"Do we have another friend called Jackson?" if it wasn't for the fact that Gunhee sounds so honestly confused, the younger would feel offended. "Yeah, Jackson as _Jackson Wang_ Jackson."

Shit. Shit, shit, _shit._ Changkyun looks at the clock on his nightstand.

"What time it's going to be the party?"

"Uh, in half an hour, but you don't –"

"I'm going!" Changkyun fumbles around the room, nervously trying to find his favorite clothes in the mess his friend made. "I'm totally going!"

Gunhee watches him for a moment ―still confused, but a little bit amused too ― before smiling to himself.

Oh, well.

It was easier than he thought it would be.

*

"Are you sure about that?"

Hoseok eyes nervously the room. The loud music and the bright lights don't bother him, but the way some of these people look at him makes his stomach churn. Sure, officialy, he shouldn't be here; extra officialy, Jiho let Gunhee bring him as guest to their 'rappers only' party, so they can't openly complain about his presence. He honestly came just to give his friends some support ― keeping an eye on Changkyun, helping Jooheon into making Gunhee avoid getting into trouble, the usual ―, but he feels too out of place, too uncomfortable to try and initiate any kind of contact.

Gunhee notices it ― the kid may seem oblivious to the world, but Hoseok's not fooled by this attitude anymore ― and doesn't get out of his side not even for a minute. That's how Hoseok ends up receiving a confused glance.

“What?”

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck, trying to ease the tension, to forget the nasty glares he’s receiving from people who don’t know him. Gunhee straightens up his shoulders and comes closer, their arms touching, their bodies pressed together, as if to say that they came together and everyone who has a problem with it can come and fight him. Hoseok finds it kind of funny, because Gunhee’s the less frightening person he knows, but it’s not like he’s going to say that to the boy.

“I don’t know.” he shrugs. “Don’t you think they’ll be upset?”

Gunhee turns to search for their friends. Jooheon’s nowhere to be seen, and Changkyun’s talking with someone who Hoseok doesn’t know ― it’s at their maknae that Gunhee stares while talking.

“Nah, I think not. Mad? Sure, I.M will probably want to hunt us down, but I think Jooheonie will be pretty chill about it.” Gunhee smiles strangely. “Actually, I think he won’t mind at all.”

Suspicion rises inside Hoseok.

“What do you mean?”

Gunhee rolls his eyes and points towards Changkyun.

“Watch.”

Hoseok frowns, not quite getting what Gunhee’s trying to say, but he does as he’s told. Changkyun’s mood has clearly changed: he seems annoyed, his eyebrows furrowed together, his lips twisted in a way too familiar for Hoseok not to get worried ― and the other person seems too close, almost predatory. Hoseok doesn’t even notice he’s heading to them until Gunhee holds his hands and effectively stops him.

The older scowls.

“Gun, he’s –”

“ _Watch._ ”

He presses his lips together fiercely, a little angered at his friend for not seeming to care about their maknae. But then ― then Jooheon shows up out of nowhere, an arm around Changkyun’s shoulders, his whole body emanating the kind of energy that Hoseok only ever saw in stage. It takes barely a minute for him to make the stranger go away, and Jooheon doesn’t let go of Changkyun until the other’s out of his sight.

Hoseok blinks in surprise before turning to look at Gunhee, who smiles widely at him.

“What the hell was _that?_ ”

Gunhee scoffs and elbows him playfully ― at distance, he can see Jooheon and Changkyun starting to argue. Oh, well. Not so out of ordinary then. Hoseok’s watching them too.

“You’ll never believe if I tell you.”

 

“Why did you do that?”

Changkyun’s not really a person that gets mad when someone tries to help him in a bad situation ― actually, he _likes_ when people try to be friendly and help others, said ‘others’ being him or not ―, but he was already uneasy enough without Jooheon showing up to ‘save the day’.

The older gives him a strange look.

“He was stripping you with his eyes.”

Jooheon says it like it explains everything, and it kind of _does_ , but Changkyun’s not about to admit that. He crosses his arms stubbornly.

“I could’ve taken care of it.” and then adds, as a matter of fact: “I can take care of myself just fine.”

Jooheon smiles at that ― it’s not a sarcastic smile, but it’s not exactly _innocent_ either, and Changkyun’s confused.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

And there it goes the confusion.

“I totally do!”

“No, you don’t.” Jooheon shakes his head in denial, but his features are playful. “You’re new and you need to learn from the olders, like that panda in the movie.”

Changkyun stares, and, when Jooheon tries to ruffle his hair, slaps his hand away.

“You’re a dork.” he declares in his best straight face.

Jooheon cracks him a smile. ― not a bit embarassed about the statement.

“I’ll be an idol.”

Changkyun doesn’t know why he corrects the other ― he _really_ doesn’t know ―, but he does, saying:

“Rapper.”

Something change on Jooheon’s face, his features hardening a bit, his smile dropping. Changkyun feels like he’d done something wrong, although he doesn’t know exactly what.

“Why can’t I be both?”

Oh. _Oh._ That explains a lot. He didn’t intend to sound like that ― like an asshole ―, because, honestly, it doesn’t matter how Jooheon wants to be called, as long as he loves what he does. And, well, it’s not like he’s going to say that to the boy; Jooheon doesn’t need him to say it, because he probably knows it already.

Changkyun scowls and shoos him. The older’s features soften.

“You can be whatever you want, just go and take your dorkiness away from me!”

Jooheon’s laugh is warm, familiar, and the younger can’t help but frown at how uncomfortable it makes him feel, even when the other ruffles his hair one more time ― receiving another slap on his hand for the gesture ― before going away.

It should be strange ― it’s not.

And Changkyun’s confused.

 

Hoseok’s still worried ― and Gunhee can say that much, nudging his side gently and giving the older an easy smile.

“You know I wouldn’t ever put any of them in danger, don’t you?”

Hoseok knows that. He _knows._ He’s just being overprotective and, truth be told, a little paranoid.

“I just don’t want them to be mad at us.”

At that, Gunhee’s smile turns into something more mischiveous.

“They won’t.” his eyes flicker to Jooheon, who’s now animatedly talking to Jackson, laughing and moving his hands in an excited manner.

“Believe me, they won’t.” he shrugs. “Besides, what can go –”

Alarm bells ring on Hoseok’s head.

“Don’t say that.”

Gunhee blinks in surprise at his sudden interruption.

“But I was just –”

“Don’t.” the older cuts him off again. “Seriously.”

Gunhee squints his eyes at him, defiantly.

“What can go wrong?” he asks, and Hoseok sighs internally.

He breathes in. Counts to ten. Breathes out.

“... I have a list.” Hoseok admits, a bit sheepishly. “Alphabetized. Do you want to read it now or later?”

Gunhee blinks. Looks at Jooheon. Looks at Changkyun. Looks at Hoseok again. He swallows dry, a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Uh, later. Definitely later.”

Hoseok fights the urge to smile.

Gunhee’s kind of a _brat_ , but he _does_ have a good heart, and that’s all it matters in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO: the talk between C/J came from that "I'm an idol rapper", because I just couldn't resist mentioning it D:
> 
>  ~~Gunhee's plan will become clear in the next chapter~~  
>  Thank you for reading! <3  
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :33  
> 'Til tomorrow \O  
> or tonight, idk


	5. soften a bit until we all just get along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sure the intent was good."  
> "I'm not. I want to kill both of them."  
> "Well, do that after we're free. I'm not going to be your alibi."  
> "You're such an asshole."  
> "I wasn't the one talking about murder!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I thought that writing ahead was going to help me to keep updating in time -q poor me -q  
> BTW I'd like to thank all of you for your support and everything <3 it really means a lot to me <3  
> I hope you like it! :3

Changkyun wakes up feeling strange.

His head’s pounding, his tongue feels heavy, and he’s _way_ too warm. He mumbles quietly, not comfortable at all with the feeling, but too sleepy to care. He presses his head further into the pillow, breathing deeply ― and that’s when it hits him.

The sheets are too soft, the smell on the pillow it’s not his, and there’s an _arm_ around his waist, a warm body pressed against his back, nuzzling on his neck.

_It’s not his bed. It’s not his room._

_He’s with a stranger._

Changkyun shrieks loudly and tries to get out of here as fast as humanly possible ― it doesn’t end well. His feet get tangled on the sheets, something cold restricting the movements of his wrists, and, before Changkyun knows, he’s sprawled out on the floor, and there’s someone above him, struggling and recently woken up.

Changkyun’s _screeching._

“Woah, _what the hell is_ – I.M?”

At that, he shuts up almost immediately, eyes wide and absolutely terrified. His blood runs cold, his heart beating painfully fast inside his chest, his breath out of rhythm.

Jooheon stares back at him with the same expression on his face, his lips completely dried of color. It takes a moment or two for him to be able to find his voice once more.

“Why are you – _what the fuck?_ ” he scowls, and, at first, Changkyun’s so sure the older’s cursing at him that he immediately scowls back, but then Jooheon’s moving, trying to get off him, and something pushes Changkyun’s wrist towards him. Jooheon’s face is paler than before. “Please, tell me we didn’t do what I think we did.”

Changkyun stares at their wrists. There’s a chain ― bright, cold, _stupid chain_ ― tying them togehter. He takes in a sharp breath and holds it until his lungs start feeling like they’re burning from inside out. Panic’s rising up from the pitch of his stomach, despair making it harder to breath.

“I don’t know.”

His voice is weak, because he’s telling the truth. He tries to think about what type of situation could’ve ended up with both of them ― _of all people_ ― chained together, but nothing comes to his mind. His head is an empty place, not thoughts, no memories of last night, and he’s starting to panic.

“I don’t know.” he repeats, and Jooheon’s head shots up, his eyes widening once more when he notices how badly Changkyun’s shaking. “I – I don’t remember, I –”

“Oi, calm down.” the older seems ready to touch him, to try and comfort him, but retreats almost as soon as the thought crosses his mind, settling his free hand on his lap instead. “Let’s try to remember together, shall we?”

Changkyun closes his eyes for a moment, counting to ten at least three times before, slowly, nodding and looking back at Jooheon. The other gives him a weak, tentative smile.

“Ok. Can you think of the last thing you did?”

The younger hums thoughtfully, trying to focus ― but it’s hard to think of something when his head hurts so badly.

“I think Jackson gave me a drink.” he tries, and his voice’s a little bit rougher, a little bit better. “And then I drank other, because it was sweet? I don’t know. It felt good at the time.”

Jooheon furrows his eyebrows together, mouthing a confused ‘ _Jackson?_ ’, but doesn’t ask anything. Changkyun doesn’t feel like talking at all ― he prefers to stare miserably at their wrists chained together instead, asking himself how he managed to be so _unlucky_ to the point of being chained to _Lee Jooheon._

“I don’t remember much.” the older admits, almost too quietly. “I drank a lot, I think. And danced. I’m almost sure Gunhee came searching for me at some point, but that’s all.”

Changkyun presses his lips together and tentatively moves his chained wrist ― Jooheon watches with a blank face, not giving away anything that might be going through his mind. It’s cold and annoying against his skin, looking just like the ones people use at the movies, just more _real._

The younger notices something he didn’t before ― an idea flickers through his mind, flashing on his eyes.

“Oi, hyung.”

At first, Jooheon fails to notice he’s being talked to, too focused on staring at the chains like he wishes he could break them with the force of his mind ― which would be cool, really, but a little bit creepy ―, and probably not used to be treated in such a respectful manner by the younger. Changkyun rolls his eyes ad pinches him, making Jooheon yelp and try to get away from him.

The sudden movement causes the chains to scratch their wrists, and Changkyun winces at the pain that rips through his arm. He scowls at Jooheon, who has a similar expression on his face.

“Why did you do that?” he asks, because, _really_ , that’s getting a little out of hand.

“You pinched me!” Jooheon looks offended. “It wasn’t my fault!”

“It totally was! You weren’t paying attention!”

“You could’ve called me!”

“I just did that!”

“Only once doesn’t count!”

Changkyun groans and runs his free hand through his hair. Arguing it’s not really helping the pain inside his head. He only wants to go to bed and sleep until it’s all over ― which probably won’t solve anything, but whatever.

“What were you trying to tell me?” Jooheon finally asks, giving up on trying to keep the silence, probably trying to think of something that’s not how their hands are awkwardly touching, too close to be comfortable, closer than they’ve ever been ― saving all the slaps or the occasional ‘arm around shoulders’. It’s strange.

Changkyun tries not to think about it ― he focus on explaining his view from before.

“We’re still wearing clothes from last night.” as Jooheon doesn’t react to the information, Changkyun ignores the burn of embarassement on his cheeks and keeps talking: “If we did – uh – you know – if we did –”

“Sex?” Jooheon sounds amused with his shyness coming out all of a sudden, and Changkyun shots him a nasty glare.

“Yes. If we did –” it doesn’t matter how hard he tries, the word doesn’t come out ― it’s uncomfortable and it makes him want to crawl out of his skin. At least Jooheon’s merciful enough to let him be this time. Changkyun groans again. “You _got_ the idea. If we did it, then why we’re still wearing the clothes from last night?”

Jooheon’s amusement seems to die down a little at that. He frowns and takes a moment to look at himself, staring at Changkyun right after, his eyebrows rising slightly.

“I don’t feel sore.” he states, as a matter of fact. “Do you?”

Changkyun frowns. His head’s aching like hell, sure, but his body? He’d never slept so well in his entire life ― not that he’ll ever admit that, though.

“No.”

Suspicion slowly starts to rise in the back of their minds while they stare at each other carefully, trying to find any sign of lie in their eyes, in their features. But there’s nothing ― nothing but raw, strange truth. And if neither of them is lying…

Jooheon breaks the silence again.

“Did you say you received a drink from Jackson?”

Changkyun furrows his eyebrows together, not quite getting why that’s important to the situation, but doesn’t find in himself the will to argue.

“Yeah.”

“And that’s because…?”

Jooheon stares at him. Changkyun blinks. Another moment goes by.

“I don’t know. Because he was being friendly?”

Jooheon groans and facepalms, mumbling something to himself in a tone too quiet for the younger to hear. Changkyun feels confused and out of place ― he’s still sleepy, his stomach’s growling, and he’s with a disgrace of a hangover, so he’s certainly _not_ in the mood the be left in the dark about anything.

“What?” he asks, because that’s the only thing his food-deprived mind can come up with.

Jooheon looks up from the space between his fingers. Like that, with his cheeks squished against his hands and his eyes still puffy from sleep, he seems almost _childish,_ and that’s kind of cute in a totally unbelievable way. Changkyun blames it all on his throbbing head, because _Jooheon’s not cute._ Totally not.

“Jackson gave you a drink.” the older states, voice muffled against his fingers.

“That’s what I just said!”

Honestly, Changkyun’s not in his right state of mind to understand _what the hell_ the other’s trying to imply. Jooheon sighs deeply before scratching the back of his neck, seeming uncomfortable and a bit exhausted.

“You’re not the type to drink, are you?”

Changkyun’s taken back by the question.

Well, he’s _not_ the type to drink, that’s for sure, but he’s only _twenty._ He’s not meant to be drinking his ass off when he could be studying or having a good time without all of this. He refuses to answer the question, stubbornly staring at the older.

He would probably be crossing his arms if he could, but, well, there’s a chain on his way.

“Sweet drinks are the worst to start with, I.M.” Jooheon considers the lack of response answer enough for his question. “You don’t know how out of it you are until you wake up the morning after in a stranger’s bed.”

“It wasn’t my fault!” _And Jooheon’s not exactly a stranger, but that’s beside the point._ “I didn’t think he would – wait.” Changkyun’s mind goes blank. He stares at Jooheon, and Jooheon stares back at him. “Are you trying to say that _Jackson_ was trying to leave me drunk?”

“I’m saying that Jackson _left_ you drunk.” Jooheon scrunches up his nose. “Gunhee probably helped, the little shit; you know how he is.”

“But _why?_ ” that’s what Changkyun’s not getting.

Jooheon needs to think before answering that. Changkyun waits ― not exactly _patient_ , but it doesn’t really matters ―, and, when the older lifts up their wrists chained together, he feels himself tensing up.

“Bonding time?” Jooheon half asks half states, and his smile’s amused.

Changkyun feels like he’s been hit by a train. His face heats up.

“I _can’t_ belive that!”

He looks at his wrist, his sore, slightly red wrist, at the chain forbidding him to step further than a foot away from the last person on Earth he wanted to spend time with.

“I’m sure the intent was good.” Jooheon would be comforting if he didn’t sound so _fucking amused_ by the situation.

Changkyun gives him a deadly glare.

“I’m not.” he scowls. “I want to kill both of them.”

“Well, do that after we’re free.” Jooheon leans his back on the bed, not minding one bit that the new position stretches the chain to its limit, an uncomfortable sensation to say the least. “I’m not going to be your alibi.”

Changkyun huffs and shakes his head.

“You’re such an asshole.” he complains.

Jooheon stares at him, wide-eyed and offended.

“I wasn’t the one talking about murder!”

“That’s beside the point.” he shakes his head. “What are we going to do?”

The older shrugs.

“I don’t know. Sleep more, call them later?”

“I’m hungry.”

“I’m not coming to the kitchen with you, ok? I love my life.”

Changkyun scowls again, but he can _feel_ his ears burning with embarassement.

“It was a one-time thing! I didn’t do it on purpose!”

Jooheon rolls his eyes, mumbling something that sounds suspiciously like ‘ _Yeah, say that to the poor toaster_ ’, but Changkyun squints his eyes at him and the older shuts up about the subject. Another minute or so goes by before he decides to speak up again, staring at the ceiling all the while.

“So, sleep?”

Changkyun snorts.

“I’m _totally not going_ to bed with you.”

“You know, technically…”

“Oh, shut up!”

And Jooheon does it, but he’s laughing, and that’s not much better than he being an annoying little shit. Changkyun sighs miserably.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

The older shakes his shoulders, amusement still on his face.

“Think positively: it could be worse!”

Changkyun blinks, caught off guard by the sudden statement. He asks almost without thinking, curious:

“Could it?”

Jooheon’s wink tells him everything Changkyun _didn’t_ want to know.

“They could’ve bought the kinky ones!”

Changkyun groans and searches for something to throw at him ― Jooheon’s laughing out loud now.

It’s _too early_ for this bullshit.

* * *

**i.am.what.i.am:** i’m going to kill u

 **sharp.to.the.g:** noooo D: i’m too young and too beautiful to die D:

 **i.am.what.i.am:** give me the keys and i’ll think about it

 **sharp.to.the.g:** oooh no can do

 **sharp.to.the.g:** they’re with wonho D:

 **i.am.what.i.am:** what

 **i.am.what.i.am:** ?????

 **i.am.what.i.am:** hoseok?

 **i.am.what.i.am:** gun

 **i.am.what.i.am:** gun

 **i.am.what.i.am:** gunhee

 **i.am.what.i.am:** how did that happen ???

 **i.am.what.i.am:** i’M KILLING YOU BOTH

 **i.am.what.i.am:** U LITTLE SHIT

 **sharp.to.the.g:** u love me :’D

 **i.am.what.i.am:** YOU WISH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tests will be over the next Saturday, so I'll try to finish the story before they start all over again and mess with my head once more ;_; (but I can't promise anything because I'm a little shit like that)
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) \o
> 
> 'til next time! :D


	6. all but won

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do we have gardening scissors?”  
> “I think not.”  
> “A chainsaw?”  
> “ _Definitely_ not. I wouldn’t trust you with a chainsaw, anyway.”  
>  “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hammer?”  
> “Are you trying to think of how to take this out or are you planning on killing our friends?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI PEOPLE :D
> 
> Yes, I'm late as always lol sorry about that ~~(you can totally hit me with a frying pan if you want)~~
> 
> BUT I have good news::::::::: I'm working on my NaNoWriMo plot-plannings right now. I plan on writing it through the next month and having a long-ass story by December 1st. Why is that a good think?... I may or not may have written the next five to six chapters of Half of me in this last week to have time for it and to be able to update it through November LOL LOL LOL
> 
> so, I'll try to update once/twice a week or so ~~only other eight chapters and I'm done o3o~~ My classes end by November 18th and my last test is by November 19th (they're starting today lol), so it may get a bit chaotic a few times and I may forget to post it, but I'll try my best! :3
> 
> Also:::::: get ready for a bit of drama somewhere in the next chapters. ~~lies, it WON'T be that bad, I promise, I'd barely call it angst at all~~ ~~it's quite the contrary lol I'll stop with the spoilers I swear~~
> 
> ANYWAY. I'm rambling, but that's it.  
> I also have a question to do for you at the end of the chapter \O  
>  ~~I can't feel my hands anymore hUE'~~
> 
> Enjoy! \O

Hoseok’s restless. He moves around like there are ants on his pants or something, and Gunhee’s getting dizzy only by watching the guy.

“Hey, Wonho?” he receives no answer and decides to keep going anyway. “What are you worrying yourself over this time?”

“I’m not –” Hoseok stops. Takes a moment to considerate the question. Blinks in confusion before turning to look at the boy. “What?”

Gunhee shrugs.

“You’re like that since last night, when we chained the guys together.” he scratches the back of his neck and looks up to the older. “If it makes you so uncomfortable, we can get back there and change that.”

Hoseok’s still confused for a moment, but, once the information settles in, his features soften a bit, his shoulders relaxing.

“Oh. _Oh._ It’s not –” he stops again. Bites his lips. Thinks about it. “It’s not like that, I swear.”

Gunhee blinks, caught off guard, but his surprise doesn’t last much. He pats his side on the older’s bed, where he’s sprawled out, calling the other to sit with him. Hoseok sighs deeply, but ends up doing it anyway.

“I know they need time to figure things out and stop fighting so much.” he winces. “Even because it’s starting to get irrational. But I don’t want Changkyun to be upset at me.”

The younger makes an ‘Oooh’ sound, understanding. He runs his hands through Hoseok’s hair in a comforting manner, receiving a happy hum in response to his act.

“He’s really important to you, isn’t he?”

“Like a little brother.”

“Well, don’t worry, he’s not –” Gunhee’s sudden stop makes the older tense up almost immediately. “ _Oh, shit._ ”

Hoseok pulls away to look at him. Gunhee looks back, and his sheepish smile tells he did something wrong.

“Promise me you won’t be mad at me?”

“It depends. What did you do?”

“I think I kind of told him you were with me in the whole chain thing?”

Hoseok blinks. Gunhee waits.

“He sent you a message?”

 _This_ is something the younger wasn’t expecting.

“Yeah? Some hours ago. Why?”

Hoseok ignores him, frowning.

“And you didn’t think about telling me?”

Gunhee twists his lips, his cheeks reddening at every second that passes.

“I kind of forgot?” he tries, and receives a light ― light to Hoseok; to him, it feels like a _brick_ ― punch on his shoulder, wincing.

“What am I going to do with you, Gun?” Hoseok sighs miserably, but the smile he gives the younger right after is nothing but fond. “What am I going to do with you?”

Gunhee feels strange. He winks to try and shrug it off.

“Protect me from our maknae wrath?”

Hoseok laughs.

Gunhee considers it answer enough.

*

“Go out?”

“Chained together?”

“Call someone? Some of our friends?”

“And explain that, no, we didn’t sleep together, but we’re chained to each other, _before_ they tell that to the whole world? Good luck trying.”

“You’re not helping.”

Jooheon finally looks up from his bowl of cereal, cheeks full of food, and he seems confused with the statement. Changkyun groans and rubs his neck ― sure, it was good convincing the older to get out of bed to eat something (even if it was basically cereal and milk) and take some painkillers, but, all in all, he’s starting to get sore with all the tension in his body.

“I’ll call the cops.” he finally settles down, frowning.

The other gives him a strange look, swallowing his food and shaking his head in an amused manner.

“And tell them what?”

Changkyun stares at him. Jooheon stares back.

“You’re not helping. You’re, like, really, _really_ not helping.”

The older smiles, not a bit offended by the other’s accusatory tone. He seems _way_ too amused to someone who’s supposedly chained with a person he doesn’t like one bit, and the fact annoys Changkyun.

“What am I supposed to do?” Jooheon shrugs when the younger shots him a glare. “Don’t look at me like that, I.M, it’s not my fault.”

“But you’re doing nothing to change it!”

Jooheon sighs and puts down his cereal.

“Look, it’s Friday.”

Changkyun doesn’t understand the statement. He blinks before slowly frowning.

“What?”

Jooheon shrugs again.

“We already missed class because you’re hangover and I’m sleepy, so, no point in sulking over that. Besides, I have no plans for the weekend.”

Changkyun facepalms.

“ _Please,_ tell me you’re _not_ trying to say that you don’t care.”

“I’m _saying_ that I don’t.” Jooheon winks, but he doesn’t seem so amused anymore. “I mean, the whole point of being chained to you is to have time together, isn’t it?” before Changkyun can have a say in the matter, the older adds: “It’s just a weekend anyway. It could be worse if we found a way to break that thing, because you know how Gun is.”

Changkyun does. Even being harmless as a fly, Gunhee can be really _annoying_ when he wants to be ― and, if he wants them together so badly (to the point of putting a _chain_ on their wrists), stopping his first tentative will do nothing but fuel the fire. And god knows how far Gunhee can go when he wants something.

In the long run, losing just a weekend to please the little shit he calls friend ― and Hoseok, the traitor ― doesn’t seem so bad; not like it could be. Still…

“Can’t we, like, break it or something?”

Jooheon looks at their wrists for a moment, seeming to think about it. Changkyun doesn’t feel good at the idea of doing _anything_ with the other at his side ― he already feels uncomfortable enough only eating at his side, and it’s not even lunch time yet.

“I don’t know. Do you have any idea of how?”

Well, Changkyun _does_ , but he’s not sure of how much the movies change the facts, and he’s not about to risk their wrists just so he can prove a point. He sighs and slumps miserably on his place on the couch.

“Do we have gardening scissors?”

“I think not.”

“A chainsaw?”

“ _Definitely_ not. I wouldn’t trust you with a chainsaw, anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hammer?”

Jooheon blinks, staring at Changkyun.

“Are you trying to think of how to take this out or are you planning on killing our friends?”

Changkyun rolls his eyes and tugs stubbornly at the chain, resisting the urge to pout.

“I’m deciding it yet. Probably both.”

Jooheon snorts and shakes his head in disbelief.

“Of all the people in the world, Gun _needed_ to put me up with a psycho, didn’t he?”

Changkyun pinches him ― _hard_ ― in retaliation. The older practically _squeals_ , jumping in place.

“Ok, ok, I’ll stop, I’ll stop!”

The younger crosses his arms, scowling and ignoring the way his wrists ache with the movement. Jooheon rubs his side and squints his eyes at Changkyun.

“You’ll make me regret that, won’t you?” he asks, suspicious.

“Keep your comments to yourself and we’ll be fine.”

“Even the good ones?”

“All.”

“My jokes?”

“Jooheon, _all._ ”

The older whines, pressing his lips in a way that makes him seem like he’s pouting.

“You’re no fun.”

Changkyun bites the inside of his cheeks until the taste of blood fills his mouth.

He’s _not_ smiling at that overgrown child. _He’s not._

[Except that he totally is.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question: should I start answering the comments even if I'm not about to update the story? Sometimes I think I take too long to do that and D: idk D: help D:  
> Next update: 26/10
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) o3o


	7. you won't bring me down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh god. _Oh god._ Gunhee was right.  
>  Jooheon _does_ have a crush on Changkyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY PEOPLE, TIME FOR WARNINGS  
> first: I have no sense of time  
> second: I have no self-control  
> I'll be posting the next 8 chapters that would probably be updated through November BUT are not going to because I have absolutely no sense of time and I don't track my days as I should, so I'm not going to take the risk of losing it all. Ha.
> 
> Have fun reading -q  
> Bye! \O

Changkyun’s starting to give up on being patient.

He gets why this is so important to Gunhee ― he _does_ ―, but that doesn’t mean he’s not wishing for it to end soon. It’s not fair. Jooheon doesn’t seem to give a fuck, but Changkyun does, and that makes him upset. From all people in the world, _why_ did it need to be him?

“You’re thinking too hard.” Jooheon comments, although his eyes don’t leave the TV screen not even for a moment. “I can hear the sound of your engineerings working.”

Changkyun resists the urge to snap at him ― the urge to crosses his arms and leave. It won’t matter that much in the end, because Jooheon’s not going anywhere, it doesn’t matter how much the younger wishes for him to.

“What’s going on?” for a moment ― just a crazy, brief moment ―, Changkyun can swear that Jooheon’s eyes flicker towards him, worried; but he blinks, and they’re not, and he thinks it might be just his head playing tricks on him.

Changkyun doesn’t want to explain, but he doesn’t want to be rude either. He settles down with a shrug, throwing his head back to stare at the ceiling.

“I don’t know.” he lies. “I’m tired.”

Jooheon hums in understanding.

“Do you want to go to bed?”

Changkyun blinks. Looks at him. Frowns.

“I’m not –”

“Going to sleep with me, I know, I know.” the older waves his hands and rolls his eyes. “Geez, I got it the first time, okay? You don’t need to keep repeating it all the time.”

Changkyun’s frown deepens almost to the point where he’s scowling.

“Then why –”

“I’m trying to be nice.” Jooheon huffs. When he looks back at the screen in front of them, it almost seems like he’s pouting. “Haven’t you noticed that we’re chained together?”

Changkyun hits his shoulder. Jooheon winces.

“I’m being serious, stop messing around!”

“What makes you think I’m lying?”

“Why would you try to be nice?”

Jooheon massages his shoulder and stares at him. A moment passes, something changes on his face ― and Changkyun feels strange. He looks away and bites the inside of his cheek, trying not to spill out anything more. He knows he’s not really helping ― he knows he’s not really making things easier, nor better ―, but it’s getting harder than he thought it would be.

Changkyun doesn’t hate him. He _doesn’t_ ― but, sometimes, he almost wishes he did.

“Whatever.” Jooheon furrows his eyebrows together. “Do you want to sleep or not? Because I need to finish some of my lyrics, and, if you don’t, I’ll just take my notes and get back here.”

The younger feels a bit guilty. His shoulders drop a little.

“Sleep sounds good to me.” he admits, half-heartedly, kind of waiting for the other to snap at him.

Jooheon doesn’t do that. He smiles, full of tiny white teeth, his mood brightening with the answer. Changkyun presses his lips together, feeling uneasy, his insides churning with discomfort.

“Okay, then. Let’s go?”

He twists his lips before moving his head in agreement. Jooheon shouldn’t be acting like that, because it makes harder for him to find a reason to fight, a reason to argue, and Changkyun feels almost wrong about the whole thing. He’s not supposed to be nice, or kind, or worried ― he’s supposed to be a little shit, so the younger can snap and bite back without feeling like an asshole.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Changkyun doesn’t feel like talking.

Maybe sleep can put some sense into his mind.

* * *

**i.am.what.i.am:** is jooheon always strange?

 **sharp.to.the.g:** what do you mean

 **i.am.what.i.am:** idk

 **i.am.what.i.am:** he’s acting strange

 **sharp.to.the.g:** like?

 **i.am.what.i.am:** i don’t know man

 **i.am.what.i.am:** just

 **i.am.what.i.am:** he’s strange

 **sharp.to.the.g:** idk what you mean bro

That’s a lie. Gunhee _definitely_ knows what the younger is talking about. His mischiveous smile earns him a suspicious glance from Hoseok.

 **i.am.what.i.am:** geez

 **i.am.what.i.am:** forget it then

 **sharp.to.the.g:** D:

 **i.am.what.i.am:** what?

 **sharp.to.the.g:** nothing

 **i.am.what.i.am:** you don’t make sense

 **sharp.to.the.g:** D: i totally do D:

 **sharp.to.the.g:** also

 **sharp.to.the.g:** send wonho a message

 **sharp.to.the.g:** he’s worried

 **i.am.what.i.am:** tell the traitor i’m coming for you both :)

 **sharp.to.the.g:** oh no D: you have no chill, kid D:

And, although he’s expressing himself with a sad emoji, Gunhee’s smiling. He _knows_ they’re already forgiven ― Changkyun wouldn’t be talking to him like that if they weren’t. _He feels like a fucking genius._

 

Hoseok would probably deny it, but, well, Hoseok doesn’t count.

* * *

**warm rays of sun melting your worries and welcoming you**

Jooheon stares at his lyrics, and the lyrics seem to stare back at him.

He feels a bit out of place, and that’s completely unfamiliar to him ― it’s almost a scary feeling, crawling under his skin, clenching around his lungs and taking away his words. He sighs and puts down the notebook, taking care not to move his left hand too much and end up disturbing Changkyun’s sleep.

He guesses his lack of inspiration has something to do with that ― and that’s, obviously, all Gunhee’s fault. Jooheon knows the little shit since they were, like, two, he probably _should_ be waiting for the boy to do something like that. Actually, thinking about it, it’s a surprise that the other didn’t do anything earlier. Jooheon can’t say he’s upset or mad at his best friend for his “prank” ― he’s not, because he knows Gunhee never does anything with bad intentions, Gunhee never does anything thinking of hurting someone. Gun’s, indeed, a good person ― he’s just terrible at expressing himself.

Jooheon sighs and runs a hand through his hair, feeling a bit tense. Changkyun’s sleeping peacefully on his bed, all curled up around a pillow, and it’s kind of funny how his features soften when he loses his sense of reality. If it was Gunhee, Jooheon _would_ draw mustaches on his face; if it was Jackson or any other ― maybe even Hoseok, who knows ― he’d try other pranks as well, but it’s _Changkyun._

It’s not that Jooheon has a soft spot for the maknae ― because he _doesn’t,_ ok? Ok ―, but he never knows how far he can go with the younger. Jooheon truly believes they keep arguing over everything and nothing mostly because they got used to it than because they have a reason to, but sometimes he’s not sure they’re even on the same page anymore.

Changkyun didn’t seem to find the chain thing funny at all ― at first, Jooheon was confused and a little bit worried, but then he found it _fucking hilarious,_ because only Gun would think of a soap opera plot to try and set them up. But even that was okay, because Jooheon knows not everyone has the same type of humor as Gunhee, and he didn’t expect to receive a positive answer to the prank.

However, Changkyun acts almost like he thinks Jooheon’s about to fight him ― _really_ fight him, and not play fight him ― or be cruel without a reason or something. Just like when Jooheon was trying to convince him to sleep and Changkyun got all tense and defensive.

Jooheon looks again at the boy’s sleepy face, and sighs deeply. Okay, so he _does_ have a soft spot for him, but how could he not? They argue a lot, that’s for sure ― and sometimes things get blown out of proportion ―, but Jooheon _cares_ about him. He likes to annoy the younger, and he definitely enjoys bugging him more than he should, but they’re still friends, aren’t they? Jooheon considers him as a friend, at least.

It makes him worry that maybe ― just maybe ― Changkyun sees the situation the same way as Gunhee: thinking that Jooheon hates him. Because _he doesn’t._ If he did, he wouldn’t be living with the guy in the first place, he wouldn’t be around so often and he definitely wouldn’t try to be friendly to him.

He leans his head on the bed, ignoring how uncomfortable it makes him feel, and takes a moment just to look at Changkyun, trying to think of something he could’ve done to make him believe he’s hated ― but nothing comes to Jooheon’s mind. He didn’t do anything, did he? Nothing serious, at least, and he’s not certain that all the pranks and jokes count on something because, well, Changkyun did them too; it’d be a little irrational of him to think that all of it was just to show off hate or animosity towards each other.

Unless…

Jooheon’s stomach drops painfully.

Unless _Changkyun_ hates _him_ ― and, honestly, that would make _so more sense_ than him being this defensive just because he believes on something that it’s not true.

All of a sudden, it’s hard to breath. Jooheon presses his lips together, trying to control the urge to voice his thoughts. He doesn’t want to be hated ― he never did anything with harm intention, he never tried to be _mean,_ he never tried to be cruel.

Jooheon only wanted a good time, to be able to argue over little things and smile for it. He wanted to ― to call atention ― to be noted, to... _Reality hits him like a wall._

Oh god. _Oh god._ Gunhee was right.

Jooheon _does_ have a crush on Changkyun.

And the boy hates him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	8. gotta keep myself calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re a little shit.” he states, as a matter of fact.

Jooheon’s acting weird again.

Changkyun doesn’t know how he notices it, but he  _ does, _ and it’s weirder than before. The older keeps giving him those side glances, scrunching up his nose and pulling strange faces from time to time. And Changkyun’s trying to focus on his new college project, he’s really trying, but it’s hard to do that when Jooheon keeps staring at him like a creepy.

He puts down his pen.

“Did you draw something on my face?”

“Uh?” the older looks at him ― Jooheon  _ really _ loos at him, not  _ side _ looks at him. “What?”

Changkyun scowls.

“Did you draw something on my face?”

Jooheon blinks.

“No?”

“You’re staring.” the younger accuses.

“I’m not!”

“Yes, you are!”

“But I didn’t do anything!”

Jooheon’s wide eyes ― and the lack of a better answer ― tell otherwise.

“Then why are you looking guilty?!”

Changkyun knows he’s not making any sense right now, but he’s far from caring about it. Jooheon seems ―  _ finally _ ― a bit offended.

“You told me to keep my comments to myself!”

“I wasn’t being serious!”

“And how the hell I was supposed to know that?!”

_ You weren’t. _ Changkyun opens his mouth to answer, only to close it right after. Well, he can’t say that ― it’d invalidate the reason why he started the argument in the first place. His scowl deepens.

“It doesn’t matter! Why were you staring at me?”

Jooheon groans and runs a hand through his hair.

“Ugh, I wasn’t – you don’t make sense!” and he scowls, too, although he seems more confused than ever. “You’re crazy, kid, crazy!”

Changkyun barely thinks before going straight to pinch him on his side ― and it’s the first time that Jooheon sees it coming and tries to avoid the contact. The good news: Changkyun manages to pinch him anyway. The bad news: Jooheon squeaks and  _ moves, _ instinctively trying to get away, moving too fast and hitting the younger’s notes.

It’d be all sun and flowers if he didn’t tear up Changkyun’s essay on his way.

“Oh, fuck!”

There’s silence after that. Jooheon’s eyes are wide and ― when he turns to look at Changkyun ― apologetic. It takes a moment for him to build up the courage to say something.

“I – uh – I’m sorry.”

Changkyun takes in a deep breath. Holds it for a second or two. Finds in himself that he doesn’t have the will to argue over it ― even because,  _ technically, _ it wasn’t Jooheon’s fault, it was  _ his _ fault.

“It’s okay.” he gives the essay a suffering look while twisting his lips. “It wasn’t that good anyway.”

Jooheon doesn’t seem entirely convinced, eyeing him suspiciously before approaching once more, sitting at the younger’s side and giving him a brief glance. It’s not a good position, considering he’s trying to keep some distance and that makes their wrists get scratched by the chains. Changkyun sighs in annoyance, resisting the urge to pinch him again.

“You can come closer, you know? I don’t bite.”

He’s not sure if it’s just his mind playing tricks on him, but the older mumbles a weak  _ ‘Yeah? Because you seem like you do’  _ before approaching. Their knees bump slightly, and Changkyun takes more time staring at them than trying to think about what he’s going to do now.

“What was that about?”

The question gets him off guard. He looks up to find Jooheon carefully picking the two halfs of his essay, and paranoia immediately washes over his nerves. He snatches the thing from the older’s hands, startling him.

“Don’t read it!” Changkyun holds the papers protectively against his chest, ignoring the odd look Jooheon gives him and how warm his cheeks feel. “It’s not ready yet.”

“That was rude.”

Changkyun doesn’t know if Jooheon’s being serious or not ― since they met, he never even called the older ‘hyung’, and, sure, that’s rude, but Jooheon never seemed to care about formalities. Actually, the only thing the boy seems to care about is messing around when he feels like he can. Changkyun decides to say something before the silence turns deafening, trying not to think too much.

“And so are you, but I don’t go around saying that, do I?”

Jooheon laughs at that. He  _ laughs. _ Changkyun’s shoulders relax almost immediately, tension leaving his body. He  _ does _ want to hit him again for making him worry, but the relief of knowing that they’re okay ― as far as ‘okay’ can get in this strange relationship ― is bigger than his desire to fight.

“Actually, you  _ do _ that. A lot. On a daily basis.” and, before the younger can snap right back, Jooheon nudges him on the side, more gentle this time. “But I’m serious, kid. What were you writing about?”

Changkyun mumbles in an annoyed tone, too quiet for Jooheon to hear. The older frowns, confused.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

The younger pouts ― there’s no other way to describe it, he’s  _ pouting. _

“I’m not a kid.”

Jooheon stares at him in disbelief; the look on his face can be clearly translated into something along the lines of  _ ‘That’s all you heard? Seriously?’. _ Changkyun quickly shakes his head, trying to ignore the burn of embarassement on his face.

“Anyway.” he takes a deep breath to calm himself down and looks at the papers on his hands. “It’s about the influence of music on people’s development and way to see the world. I was planning on talking about antique rituals and the relation with religion, but I don’t know if that’s good at all.”

The older makes a humming noise to indicate he understood.

“It seems, uh, pretty cool.”

Changkyun shots him a glare, feeling a bit defensive.

“You found it boring.” he says, and can’t help the edge of bitterness to sweep onto his voice.

Jooheon immediately shakes his head.

“It’s not like that.” when the younger looks away, clutching the destroyed essay against his chest once more, he sighs and nudges him again, much more softly than before. “Changkyun-ah, it’s not boring, I swear. It’s just, like – why talk about religion?”

“It was the first thing that came to my mind, okay?” he admits, though a bit grumpily. “I couldn’t find anything better.”

“Religion is a touchy subject. That’s the only reason why I don’t think it’s a good theme to start with.” Jooheon twists his lips slightly, thoughtful. “Why not, I dunno, the role of the music industry in all of it?”

Changkyun blinks and turns to look at him, confused.

“What?”

Jooheon chews on his bottom lip for a moment.

“Like… Music usually tells you something, right? But people can’t do music by themselves; they’re told they can’t, because that’s how it works with industry. Why? People don’t want to hear about your sad life or your dreams, they want to hear about love and money and ruling a generation.” the older scrunches up his nose a bit. “Because that’s what industry does with you: it puts ideas in your head that weren’t there before. They control the music and the lyrics and the artists, and so they control you.”

The younger stares at him, completely quiet. A light blush creeps its way onto Jooheon’s cheeks, he only then noticing how he was rambling.

“I mean, that’s just an idea, you’d still have to work with the whole –”

“Repeat that.” Changkyun searches for his pen and forgotten notebook on the floor.

The older stops, staring at him with a blank face.

“Excuse me?”

“That last part. Repeat it.”

“... It’s just an idea?”

Changkyun hits him with the notebook. Jooheon winces in pain.

“Ow, what was that for?!”

“Not  _ that _ last part, idiot! The other, about lyrics and music industry and artists! I think you gave me an idea. Or somewhere to start, it’s the same thing.”

Jooheon rubs the back of his neck, staring at the younger with an expression that shows just how lost he feels.

“Oi, I get that it’s a good thing, but I don’t understand why you had to –” when Changkyun turns to stare at him, notebook in hands, threatening to hit him again, the older quickly changes his mind. “Ok, ok, I get it! Chill out, kid, damn.” the younger squints his eyes at him. Jooheon gulps audibly. “So, uh, the industry controls all that shit and they control you?”

“Ok.” the younger immediately starts scrambling down on the page, his handwriting messy and almost unreadable. “Keep talking.”

“But you’ll need to work about the whole ‘point of view of the world’ thing? And, uh, the artists’ points of view, too. That’s important.”

Changkyun hums for him to keep going. Jooheon takes a moment to look at him, his lips turning up a little at the corners.

“Then music industry turns into, like, a machine of mass control. Kind of. It’s not that  _ all _ music is about that, but part of it is, and I think you should focus more on that? Because, I mean, generalization’s not a good thing, but going so far as to explain that will probably make you run out of your theme.”

He watches in amused silence while the younger scratches a few words and mutters something under his breath. As Changkyun doesn’t ask him to say anything more, Jooheon tries to keep as quiet as possible. They stay like that for a while, and the older’s starting to feel sleepy when Changkyun, all of a sudden, stops.

“That’s  _ awesome.” _ and then, without apparent reason, he elbows Jooheon on his side, startling him. “Thank you, hyung.”

The older rubs his ribs ― though it doesn’t hurt at all, it  _ caught _ him off guard ―, frowning slightly.

“You’re the only person I know that thanks people hitting them.”

Changkyun shrugs.

“But I  _ did _ call you ‘hyung’, didn’t I?”

Jooheon stares at him in stunned silence.

“You’re a little shit.” he states, as a matter of fact.

The only answer Changkyun gives him is a wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3
> 
> ¹I'd like to let here the note that I don't have any idea about what you do in music college. (or in college, for all that matters) I put what I thought it'd be interesting to write/make a discussion about.


	9. if i fall and get hurt, will you accept my surrender?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can I kiss you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gET READY FOR THE ANGST  
>  ~~except that not really~~

Their dinner is ― again and unsurprisingly ― cereal; because Jooheon still doesn’t want to let Changkyun anywhere near the oven, and none of them is really in the mood to eat takeout. Something about being chained together and not being able to take even a few steps apart from each other makes both lazy, wanting to do nothing but lie around and wait for Sunday night to come and bring their respectives traitorous best friends.

And Changkyun, being the neat freak he is, can’t go through another day with the same clothes from _Thursday._

“Jooheon.” ignoring the bit of guilt that creeps inside him, he pokes the sleepy boy’s face at his side. “Oi, Jooheon.”

“Hm?” the older barely opens his eyes at all.

“I want to go shower.”

Even with eyelids half closed and still dozing off, Jooheon manages to furrow his eyebrows together in confusion. Changkyun would’ve find it hilarious if it wasn’t for the fact that he really, _really_ wants a shower.

“Then go shower.” the older nuzzles against the couch, curling around himself and mumbling something else, not seeming to notice how he ends up bringing the other’s hand to his chest as well. “I won’t go anywhere.”

Changkyun facepalms.

“I can’t do that if you don’t move.” he nudges the boy stubbornly. “C’mon, man. You can sleep later.”

Jooheon keeps mumbling nonsense, and, if it wasn’t for the fact that he helped Changkyun with his essay, the younger would’ve hit him without a second thought. The boy sighs dramatically and keeps calling the older, poking him insistently and talking until Jooheon’s at least half awake, rubbing his eyes tiredly and giving him a suffering look.

“Why can’t you wait for Gun-ah to come back and take this thing off?”

“Stop frowning or you’ll get a permanent scowl.” Changkyun decides to give him some credit and not cringe upon the question ― Jooheon still looks like a recently awakened zombie, after all. “And I’m totally _not_ going to pass the whole _weekend_ without showering.”

Only then the older seems to think about what he just said, and he pulls a face. The younger decides to ignore that and keep walking, Jooheon following right after, still having a hard time trying to brush away the sleepiness.

“But what are you going to do with your shirt?”

Changkyun freezes at that. Jooheon misses it and stumbles upon him, caught off guard by the sudden stop.

“Why did you –”

“I’m going to kill him.” the younger turns to look at him. “If you have something to say to Gun, say it before I find him.”

Jooheon stares with a dumbfounded expression and blinks.

“What?”

“It’s my _favorite_ shirt.”

The older makes an _‘Oooh’_ sound, but it’s clear on his face that he didn’t understand the statement. Changkyun doesn’t want to think about that, not right now, and so he doesn’t try to keep talking. He just walks straight to his room, trying to think of something he can wear to sleep; it’s not that it’ll make any difference, considering that it’ll be horrible to try and find a shirt that won’t be strange to put with a chain on his right hand, but he can do his best.

He turns to look at Jooheon, who watches him curiously.

“Won’t you get another clothes, too?”

The older makes a strange move, like he’s about to cross his arms, and, when reminded about the chains by the stubborn scratch on their wrists, he cringes and rubs his neck with his free hand instead.

“Uh, no, I – uh, I’m fine with those.”

Changkyun _refuses_ to believe that Jooheon doesn’t mind wearing _jeans_ to sleep.

“What?” he furrows his eyebrows together. “Please, tell me you’re _not_ ashamed.”

Wrong thing to say, apparently ― the perks of having no filter when talking to the older boy. Jooheon immediately tenses up, his features hardening a bit, and, this time, Changkyun _does_ feel stupidly guilty for picking up on him so much, even when he’s not trying to.

 _Asshole move, buddy,_ he scolds himself mentally. _Asshole move._

“Look, I didn’t –”

“Let’s go to my room, then.” Jooheon interrupts him, and there’s an edge on his voice that Changkyun’s never heard before. “I need to get my own clothes.”

Part of Changkyun wants to apologize and say he didn’t mean to sound like that, say that he wasn’t trying to be a dick; the other part wants to hide and pretend it never happened. But he knows better than try and do any of that, and so he keeps quiet.

Jooheon doesn’t look at him again after that.

Changkyun feels sick.

*

As if things couldn’t get any harder, Changkyun finds out that _he_ feels ashamed about the whole ‘taking a shower in front of someone’ thing. Sure, a lot of things happened since he started living with Jooheon and Gunhee ― and he may or not may have wandered around shirtless once or twice ―, but he never really _thought_ about it until now.

The bathtub is already filled with warm water, and the silence that hangs in the place is heavy. Jooheon’s half turned, as if to give him some privacy, but still. Changkyun feels a bit self-conscious, and that’s not something exactly _normal_ to him.

“I, uh –” he clears his throat, voice too loud in the quietness of the room, and Jooheon gives him a brief glance. The younger motions towards his shirt. “I need, uh, to get the scissors.”

The older nods and lets him. Changkyun goes through the whole cabinet before finding a pair of scissors, and tries not to think about what he’s doing when he cuts the shirt, starting off with the sleeves. Gunhee and Hoseok are lucky he doesn’t have any emotional link to the thing besides the fact that it’s his favorite one, and they’re _totally_ going to buy him a new one.

He sighs when he’s done, and takes of the cloth. Jooheon’s already looking away, so Changkyun doesn’t need to ask him anything when he pushes down the jeans and boxers and walks awkwardly to the bathtub.

Changkyun’s not in the mood for a long shower, not anymore, but he takes his time, trying not to push his right hand too much into the water, not wanting to bother Jooheon even more. The silence makes him feel strange, and so he tries to hum to himself, just like he does when he’s alone. And then, slowly, too slowly, he notices that Jooheon’s relaxing, tension leaving his body bit by bit.

When the older lets out a heavy sigh, shoulders dropping, Changkyun decides it’s time to say something.

“I’m sorry.” he blurts out, despite all the elaborated and better apologies on his mind. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

It takes a few moments for Jooheon to answer him.

“It’s okay.” he mutters, in the end. “Can we just – not talk about it?”

Changkyun doesn’t want to just shrug it off like it was nothing, but the older never asked him anything like that, with such raw honesty lacing his voice. He doesn’t want to agree, but he does, going as far as nodding even though Jooheon’s not looking at him to see it.

“Okay.” he says, more to himself than to the other. “Okay. It’s dead and gone, then.”

Jooheon smiles and elbows him softly, turning his head just a little to give him a look.

“Don’t be like that, Kyunnie. I said it’s okay, didn’t I?”

The nickname eases something in Changkyun that he didn’t know it was leaving his chest so heavy until it’s gone. He elbows Jooheon back playfully.

“Kyunnie?” he scoffs. “Where did that come from?”

The other boy gives him a toothy smile.

“You’re a bit cute when you’re worried.”

Changkyun gasps dramatically, clutching at his chest with his free hand ― but the offense is only half-heartedly.

“A bit? _A bit?!_ I’m the cutest thing you’ve ever _seen!”_ he squints his eyes at the older, who watches him and his drama with an amused face. “Say it or I’m going to throw water at you.”

“Nope.”

The younger stares at him through half closed eyelids.

“Jooheon.” he says, as threatening as he can, watching as the other’s smile grows, deep dimples showing off.

“I’m not going to – _Changkyun!”_

Water drips from Jooheon’s hair to the rest of his face and shoulders, and he’s watching the younger in stunned silence, totally _not believing_ that the boy _did_ throw it at him. Changkyun sticks his tongue out at him in fake mockery.

“I told you I’d do it.”

As soon as the surprise passes, Jooheon _laughs_ ― open, wholehearted, without even batting an eyelash ―, and Changkyun’s guilt disappears completely at the sound. It feels _good._

“Okay, then, _cute boy,_ get out so I can shower and get back to sleep.” the older gives him a look, but the softness in his face isn’t gone. “That, talking about it, _you_ interrupted. To make fun of the nickname I gave you. And throw water at me.”

Changkyun just shrugs, not even the slightest ashamed anymore.

“Guilty.” he admits.

Jooheon rolls his eyes, not surprised.

“C’mon, get out.”

The younger gives him a smile with closed mouth.

“Turn away so I can grab my towel.”

Only then Jooheon seems to notice ― _really_ notice ― that Changkyun’s still in the bathtub, very naked and very chained to him. The younger’s never seen him so red before; blood immediately _floods_ Jooheon’s cheeks, painting him strawberry red, and he stutters out some excuse before turning around, going as far as covering his eyes with his free hand.

Changkyun doesn’t laugh, but he pats the older’s head, half friendly, half teasing.

“Don’t be shy, pretty boy, don’t be shy.”

“Fuck you.”

Jooheon’s trying to sound rude, but the embarassement is clear on his voice ― just like the reluctant amusement he _definitely_ feels.

This time, Changkyun _does_ laugh.

*

There’s a silent agreement between them when they walk towards Jooheon’s room, and Changkyun decides not to tease him about the still present ― although faint ― redness in his cheeks, but just because he’s feeling sleepy. The older doesn’t talk much, and so they’re both unusually quiet while getting ready to lie and sleep until ungodly hours of Saturday.

Jooheon’s bed is comfy, and his fluffy blanket promises a night with little to none problem at all, and the younger hums contently, pressing his face against the pillow and closing his eyes for a moment ― like that, he fails to see the fond look on the other’s face while watching him. Jooheon lies at his side, too close because, though the bed is a bit larger than the average size, there’s still no space for two grown ups to rest together without them being piled up together. Changkyun doesn’t mind. Though the chains let everything a bit uncomfortable, a bit harder, Jooheon’s warm, and the boy doesn’t think the closeness is strange at all.

“Comfy?” the older asks, voice soft, unusually quiet. “I have an extra pillow somewhere, if you want it.”

“Nah.” Changkyun stares at him, smiling a bit. “I’m good. Unless _you_ want that pillow. Then you’ll need to carry me to get it, because I’m totally not moving.”

Jooheon rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t seem annoyed, and so the younger doesn’t worry. The silence that settles in, then, is comfortable, easy to deal with. The only thing Changkyun can can hear is his own breathing and Jooheon’s too, and, though he feels sleepy and relaxed, his eyes refuse to close. He keeps staring at the other, who stares back at him with attentive, careful eyes.

The delicate blush on Jooheon’s cheeks didn’t fade. Changkyun wonders if he should worry about that, or if he’s just noticing it because they’re so close.

“Were you being serious?” Jooheon asks, all of a sudden, and, seeing the confused look on the younger’s face, he quickly adds: “About – about before, I mean. What you said… Were you being serious?”

Changkyun doesn’t have any idea what he’s talking about.

“I said a lot of things.” he blinks. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

Something in the older’s face changes. He opens his mouth to answer, but changes his mind on the last second, closing it and shaking his head weakly.

“Forget it.”

Changkyun doesn’t like how it sounds. He furrows his eyebrows together, confused as to why suddenly it’s like there’s an elephant in the room.

“Jooheon.” he says, and the older looks away.

“Drop it.” he murmurs. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

This time, Changkyun scowls.

“Then why do you keep bringing it up? It doesn’t make sense!”

“I know.” Jooheon sounds miserable, and, once again, there’s an insistent tug of guilt on the younger’s chest. “I’m sorry.”

Changkyun sighs, his anger fading immediately, and brings his free hand up to poke the other’s cheek. The older turns to look at him, confusion written all over his face.

“It’s okay, just – don’t be upset.”

Jooheon’s features soften.

“Okay.” he says, quietly.

“Okay.” Changkyun repeats, as if to make sure that he heard right.

The silence that follows bothers him. Jooheon’s still staring, his eyes focused on Changkyun’s face, and the younger feels something strange growing on his chest. It’s warm, heavy, and it makes him feel inexplicably nervous.

 _What the_ –

“Can I kiss you?”

Changkyun freezes. His mind floods with silence that echoes through his bones and soul and installs a sinking feeling onto his stomach.

“No.”

Jooheon blinks ― there’s no hurt in his eyes, no surprise, nothing.

“Oh.” he says, and then: “That’s  – that’s okay.”

The younger swallows dry, not able to gather the courage to look away.

“I know.” he blurts out.

And the other flashes him a small smile for his words, dimples showing, eyes half closed and a bit sleepy. The heaviness on Changkyun’s chest grows to the point where he can’t even _breath_ properly. Jooheon’s the one to break the tension, turning so he’s lying on his back, eyes focusing on the ceiling above them.

“Okay.” he says, again.

“Okay.” Changkyun repeats, feeling strange and awkward and tired.

Jooheon doesn’t sound upset, and it helps him not to feel guilty.

Still, none of them sleeps properly that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	10. keyword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jooheon’s _pretty._

_ Jooheon’s skin is pale, apparently smooth, coloured by a faint red all the way from his shoulders to his ears. If he looks carefully, Changkyun can see the blue and purple veins on his arms, a few birthmarks and childhood scars showing up. He’s soft looking, without sharp edges, and something about it makes the boy feel a sudden wave of endearment towards the older. _

_ “Stop staring.” _

_ Changkyun looks up to find Jooheon glaring at him ― but his cheeks are tainted deep red, his lips pressed together, almost forming a heart by how fiercely he does that, and it’s clear that he feels embarassed. The younger mumbles an apologie, turning away to let the other more at ease, trying not to think about how awkward he could’ve turned things by acting so strange and staring at the older like that. _

_ But it’s not his fault ― not exactly. _

_ He never thought about it, he never  _ noticed _ it before because he was too busy bickering with the guy to pay attention to something like that; now that he does, Changkyun almost wishes he could’ve stayed blind to that fact. _

_ Jooheon’s  _ **_pretty._ **

_ (And Changkyun wants to tell him that. Again.) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yASSS THAT'S A TENSION BUILDER I FEEL NO SHAME  
>  ~~that's a lie~~  
>  ~~only the 'no shame' part~~


	11. just keep going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **joo.heon:** I’LL KILL YOU  
>  “Why does everyone keep telling me that?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely refuse to stop writing Wonho and Gun doing weird shit together.  
> I rEFUSE.

**joo.heon:** i asked changkyun to kiss him

The message comes out of the blue at four in the morning and, if Gunhee wasn’t up that late playing COD with Hoseok, he wouldn’t see it until lunch time ― and wouldn’t have screeched so loud that the older boy immediately abandons everything to rush towards him, thinking that something’s wrong.

Gunhee ignores him completely in favor of keeping his eyes glued to the phone.

 **sharp.to.the.g:** YOU DID WHAT

 **joo.heon:** i asked changkyun to kiss him

“He _didn’t.”_ Hoseok looks at the message over his shoulders, eyes wide with shock, and he curses under his breath right after. “Gun, what the fuck?!”

“Shhh.” Gunhee urges him to be quiet, typing so fast that he barely feels his fingers. “I’ll explain you later.”

 **sharp.to.the.g:** no shit

 **sharp.to.the.g:** and what did he say???

He and Hoseok wait anxiously for an answer. Jooheon takes a moment or two to answer ― at this point, Gunhee’s biting the inside of his cheeks with so much force that there’s blood on his mouth, and Hoseok’s leaning against him, the game long forgotten.

 **joo.heon:** he said ‘no’

“Fuck.” Gunhee’s eyes widen and he looks at Hoseok, at a complete loss of words. “Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck._ What should I say?”

“I don’t know!” the older snaps the phone out of his hands. “Shit, Gun. How did that even happen?”

“I _don’t know.”_ Gunhee gets up to try and take the phone once more, but the other doesn’t let him, already tapping on the screen. “Give it back!”

“No way!” Hoseok holds it above his head so the boy needs to put more effort to catch it. “I want to know what’s going on!”

 **sharp.to.the.g:** ???

 **sharp.to.the.g:** are you okay??

Gunhee manages to cling onto the older’s back, totally not ashamed of doing it, and Hoseok stumbles around, almost tripping over the joysticks on the floor. He curses and tries to push the boy off him, but Gunhee’s having none of it.

“Stop that! _Stop!_ Gun!”

The phone vibrates when Jooheon answers, and the duo immediately stops arguing, Gunhee resting his chin on Hoseok’s shoulder so he can have a look at the screen. The older lifts the phone up to make it easier for him, and they read the messages together as they come.

 **joo.heon:** i don’t know

 **joo.heon:** i mean

 **joo.heon:** i kinda thought he was going to deny it anyway but

 **joo.heon:** it still hurts

Hoseok and Gunhee share a look, and the younger sighs, hiding his face against the other’s neck.

“I feel guilty now.” he complains, and the older knows him for long enough to hear the real worry on his voice. “That was supposed to help him, not to fuck over his entire life! What do I do?”

“Stop being so overly dramatic.” Hoseok runs his fingers gently through the boy’s hair, and smiles fondly when said boy lifts up his head to give him an offended look. “I’m being serious, Gun. It’s not the end of the world. Just – talk to him, I guess?”

Gunhee scrunches up his nose a little bit before extending his hands towards the cellphone.

“Give it back, then.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes ― because, seriously, he _can’t believe_ that Gunhee’s _pouting_ ―, but gives him the phone nonetheless. Gunhee doesn’t bother letting him go, only resting his head on the older’s shoulder once more before starting typing. If Hoseok finds it strange, he doesn’t say a thing.

 **sharp.to.the.g:** do you want to talk about it?

 **joo.heon:** i dunno

 **joo.heon:** why does he hate me?

At that, even Hoseok furrows his eyebrows in worry.

“What?” he half asks half exclaims, because, honestly, _what?_

“Shhh.” Gunhee frowns. “You’re too loud, Wonho.”

The older gives him an indignated look.

“Hello there, _I_ wasn’t the one _screeching_ because of a message. You don’t have the right of word in that matter.”

Gunhee opens his mouth to say that this is a debatable subject, but the phone vibrates on his hands and he completely forgets the snarky remark he was about to do.

 **joo.heon:** i mean

 **joo.heon:** i kinda get it but

 **joo.heon:** i didn’t do anything?

 **joo.heon:** and he seems to want, like, my head in a silver plate?

 **joo.heon:** sometimes, at least

 **sharp.to.the.g:** did he do anything?

“If your best friend hurt my best friend, I’ll kill _both_ of you, okay?”

“... Gun, that was your idea.”

“Shhh. That’s just a detail.”

 **joo.heon:** no

 **joo.heon:** he didn’t

“I don’t like how that sounds.” Gunhee admits, biting his lower lip. “I don’t like it one bit.”

“We can give them the keys today instead of tomorrow.” Hoseok lifts his hand up to gently caress the younger’s hair. “I mean, they had time enough to mend things? And you know, if they didn’t…”

“I know.” Gunhee sighs, leaning to the comforting touch. “I’ll ask him what he thinks about that.”

 **sharp.to.the.g:** do you want us to go there today?

 **joo.heon:** what

 **sharp.to.the.g:** we can bring you two the keys

 **sharp.to.the.g:** for the chains, i mean

 **sharp.to.the.g:** if you want

 **joo.heon:** idk man

 **joo.heon:** i think it’ll only make things stranger

 **joo.heon:** like

 **joo.heon:** you were supposed to get back here tomorrow

 **joo.heon:** not today

Gunhee blinks at the phone screen.

“He totally wants to have more time with Changkyun.” he comments. “That’s odd.”

“Maybe he’ll try to make things less strange between them?” Hoseok tries, a bit confused as to why that’s a big deal.

“Nah. He’ll annoy the fuck out of our maknae, until I.M decides he doesn’t feel guilty anymore and snap back at him.”

The older arches an eyebrow at him.

“How do you know he feels guilty?”

“I just know.”

 **sharp.to.the.g:** are you sure?

 **joo.heon:** haha

 **joo.heon:** no

Gunhee laughs at that. Hoseok rolls his eyes.

 **sharp.to.the.g:** you’re too indecisive D:

 **joo.heon:** i know D:

 **joo.heon:** also, sorry for the late message

 **joo.heon:** wait

 **joo.heon:** i take that back

 **joo.heon:** why are you awake??

 **sharp.to.the.g:** i was playing cod with wonho \o

 **joo.heon:** wonho…?

 **jooheon:** SONG GUNHEE

 **joo.heon:** tell me you’re NOT showing that to him!!

“Oh, oh.” Gunhee blinks.

It’s Hoseok’s turn to laugh.

“Oh, god, Gun. You’re _literally the worst.”_

 **sharp.to.the.g:** uh

 **sharp.to.the.g:** i’m not?

Jooheon takes a minute or so to answer.

 **jooheon:** I’LL KILL YOU

“Why does everyone keep telling me that?!”

Hoseok laughs so hard his stomach hurts.

Gunhee smacks his head for it, but he’s not really angry at him.

Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	12. am i supposed to be happy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why did you ask to kiss me?”  
> “Because I wanted it, okay?! Because I wanted to kiss you, and I still do, and that’s not something I can control!”

The next day isn’t as strange as Changkyun thought it’d be ― and he doesn’t have any idea of how he should feel about that fact.

It’s cool, sure, because it means that there’s no awkwardness or tension in the air when Jooheon wakes him up to complain that he’s hungry, and so they can share a late breakfast without any strangeness hanging between them. At the same time, though, Changkyun can’t shake the feeling that there’s something _wrong_ with that.

Why did Jooheon ask to kiss him? Changkyun didn’t deny it because Jooheon’s a boy ― because, truth be told, he doesn’t care about it as much as people tell him he should ―, and it wasn’t even because he thought that it’d be strange or that he wouldn’t like it. It was just… It was _Jooheon_ asking. _Jooheon,_ of all people, asking to kiss _him,_ Changkyun ― twenty-year-old, grumpy, smart-mouthed Changkyun, who can’t cook for his life and wastes more time worrying about silly things than doing something productive with his life.

“You’re staring again.”

Jooheon’s voice snaps him out of his confusing thoughts. Changkyun blinks, noticing that he’s right, and quickly looks away, trying to ignore the burn of embarassement on his cheeks, a deep blush taking all the way up to his ears. Jooheon watches him cautiously, putting down his half eaten sandwich and tilting his head to the side.

“Is everything okay?” he sounds honestly concerned.

Part of Changkyun wants to tell him that it is and find a way to argue over some silly thing, because that’s something he can deal with; the other part wants to tell him that it’s not and ask him to call Gunhee to demand the keys and end up with this strange situation, because he’s a little shit like that. And, as his mouth seems to work in a way completely different from his brain and the rest of his body, what Changkyun ends up saying has nothing to do with any of both answers.

“Why did you ask to kiss me?”

Jooheon tenses up immediately. Changkyun resists the urge to facepalm, groaning instead. There’s a long, awkward moment of silence before, slowly, the older shrugs. It’s not an answer, not one that Changkyun was kind of expecting, and it bothers him. He abandons his food and stares, trying too hard not to scowl ― that’s not something the other can control, he shouldn’t get mad at him for it.

“Hyung.” he tries his best not to sound demanding, but there’s still an edge of it in his tone. “Why did you ask to kiss me?”

“Because I wanted it, okay?!” Jooheon finally snaps, but his cheeks are tainted red and his eyes are full of something that the younger doesn’t have a name for. “Because I wanted to kiss you, and I still do, and that’s not something I can control!”

Changkyun’s caught off guard by the outburst. He stares at the older in stunned silence, eyes wide with surprise. Jooheon notices that and immediately recoils, groaning and rubbing his face with his free hand.

“Look, I…” he sighs heavily. “I’m sorry, okay? It’s not – it’s just – it’s complicated. I don’t –”

“If you’re going to say you don’t want to talk about it, stop right there.” Changkyun interrupts him, frowning right after. “Why don’t you try to explain me?”

“You’re going to laugh at me.” is the immediate answer.

The younger doesn’t blink and doesn’t think before smacking the back of his head. Jooheon jumps in place, cursing under his breath before giving him a half offended look.

“Why are you always hitting me?!”

“Because you’re always saying stupid shit!” Changkyun presses his lips into a thin line. “I’m not going to laugh.”

“You are.”

“Nope.”

“Kyunnie, I know what I’m talking about.”

Changkyun scowls at that.

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“You don’t!”

“Changkyun, you’re going to laugh!”

“No, I’m not!”

“Ugh, fine!” Jooheon stares at him through half closed eyelids, cheeks puffy from the air he’s holding, red from embarassement, and he takes another moment or so before finally blurting out: “I kind of like you.”

And then comes the silence. Changkyun doesn’t get it at first ― it takes a few minutes for him to react, and Jooheon watches him with anxious eyes all the while.

“What do you mean you –” and then it hits him like a truck. Changkyun blinks. _“Oh.”_

Jooheon laughs weakly at that.

“Yeah.” he agrees, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Oh.”

Changkyun doesn’t regret asking, but there’s an uneasy feeling settling onto his stomach. He can feel his face heating up, and he doesn’t even know _why._ Damn. That was _completely unexpected._

“You _like_ me?” his question calls the attention of the other, who turns to look at him again. “I mean – you like _like_ me?”

Jooheon tilts his head to the side in confusion, not quite getting what the younger’s trying to ask.

“I like you.” he repeats, cautious, careful.

Changkyun stares. Jooheon rubs the back of his neck, uncomfortable.

“I thought you didn’t like me.” the younger finds himself saying, and the other turns to look at him with huge, confused eyes.

“What?”

Changkyun shrugs, playing quietly with the tip of his fingers.

“I thought you didn’t like me.”

Jooheon frowns at that.

“Where did you take that from?” and then more softly, he adds: “I wouldn’t be around you for so long if I didn’t.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes and punches him lightly on the shoulder.

“Sorry if I didn’t notice it before, Mr. Obvious.” and then he focus again on his sandwich because, if he doesn’t, he’ll end up saying something stupid, and that would be a bit embarassing. “But I don’t – I don’t understand.”

Jooheon puts his elbow on the table, resting his face on his hand and watching him. At any other moment, the gesture would annoy him and make him want to fight, but now now. Now, it only makes him nervous.

“It was because of the pranks? Or, I don’t know, all the teasing?”

He sounds so honestly concerned that Changkyun feels _guilty._ He’s quick to shake his head in denial.

“No. I mean, I don’t know.” he stops and frowns, biting his lower lip. “Kinda.”

“But you did it too.” Jooheon’s eyes are wide, almost pleading, and he swallows dry when the younger looks at him. “I know that I started it, but I didn’t know it –”

“It’s okay.” Changkyun interrupts him, and the other immediately shuts up. “I just – uh, I think you got it wrong.”

Jooheon frowns.

“What do you mean?”

The younger looks at the ceiling for a moment, considering how he can explain what’s going through his mind.

“What I’m trying to ask” he starts, a bit unsure. “is if you started all of that on purpose. Already – already knowing.”

Jooheon seems even more confused than before for a moment, and then his eyes light up like a tree in Christmas night.

“Of course that I didn’t!” his eyes are huge, sincere and even a bit offended. “I’d never do that! Not – not consciously, at least.”

“Then why?” Changkyun tilts his head to the side. “I mean – I started it because _you_ started it. You like me, and that’s okay, but I want to know why you started the whole prank thing if it wasn’t because of that.”

To his luck, Jooheon doesn’t seem to mind that he’s talking about it so openly ― if anything, he seems even a bit relieved; what doesn’t change the fact that his cheeks get tainted a deep red when he decides to answer the question.

“I thought it was funny that you got ― and still gets ― so mad over small things. And, though we never talked about that, I always assumed that you didn’t mind.” Changkyun doesn’t understand the blush on Jooheon’s cheeks until the older adds, a bit sheepishly: “I may or not may have told that to Gun once or twice. He’s still teasing me about it.”

Oh. Well, that explains a lot. Really. _A lot._

He hums quietly, considering the new information, and, at his side, Jooheon slowly gets back to eating, discreetely giving him time and silence to deal with it on his own. Changkyun appreciates the gesture, but he doesn’t really like the silence.

“I thought you didn’t like me.” he repeats, more to himself than to the other, but Jooheon hears it anyway.

The older gives him an easy, heartfelt smile, dimples showing and making Changkyun want to squish his cheeks like he’d do to a child.

“If it helps, I thought you didn’t like me, too.”

Changkyun scoffs.

“I think we’re both idiots.”

Jooheon’s smile turns into a smirk.

“You _think?”_

The younger rolls his eyes dramatically.

“I always knew that _you_ were an idiot, I never thought that _I_ would add myself on that.”

Jooheon chokes on his sandwich.

At _that,_ Changkyun laughs with no guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	13. bang bang (bang)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **i.am.what.i.am:** oh my god i hate you  
>  **won.ho:** love you too, my smol potato child :D

**i.am.what.i.am:** hyung

 **i.am.what.i.am:** i need your help

 **won.ho:** you just search me when you’re in trouble ;__;

 **won.ho:** what’s up?

 **i.am.what.i.am:** very fun :) i’m still mad at you

 **i.am.what.i.am:** hipotetically

 **i.am.what.i.am:** like

 **i.am.what.i.am:** if someone asks to kiss you

 **i.am.what.i.am:** and you don’t have anything against them

 **i.am.what.i.am:** but, like

 **i.am.what.i.am:** you don’t know how to feel about that either

 **i.am.what.i.am:** what do you do?

“Shit.”

At the sound of Jooheon cursing, Changkyun looks up from his phone to find the older with his eyes fixed on the game he’s playing. It’s something about the ocean ― or the sea, the younger’s not sure yet ― and a lot of crazy bloody people trying to kill the man with a yellow thing in his head; he didn’t get what’s the story or the objective of the game, but, anyway, he wasn’t paying attention. Jooheon seems to be having fun, at least.

“Stop staring at me, you weirdo.” the older doesn’t take his eyes off the TV, he doesn’t even sound annoyed ― he sounds _amused,_ what the fuck. “I know that I’m gorgeous and all, but, really, you’re starting to creep me out.”

Changkyun immediately hides behind his phone, his ears _burning_ with embarassement.

“I’m not staring at you.” he protests, though it’s only half-heartedly.

If Jooheon wasn’t so focused on his killing spree in the game, he’d surely be rolling his eyes.

“Uhum.” he hums, fingers viciously pressing the buttons of his joystick. “I’ll pretend that I believe that and you’ll stop staring.”

Changkyun opens his mouth to snap at him, but Hoseok finally answers his message, and his attention is solely focused on the phone once more.

 **won.ho:** like

 **won.ho:** 100% hipotetically??

 **won.ho:** i’d talk with them

 **i.am.what.i.am:** how?

 **i.am.what.i.am:** what if i don’t want to do that?

 **won.ho:** kiss?

 **i.am.what.i.am:** talk

 **i.am.what.i.am:** 100% hipotetically

Hoseok takes a lot of time to answer this time. Changkyun uses it as an excuse to try and watch Jooheon playing the game, but he gets bored pretty fast.

“Why do you have to kill them?”

Jooheon makes a sound too similar to a mix between _‘Uh?’_ and _‘What?’,_ but, other than that, he barely moves at all. Changkyun rolls his eyes and leans closer, spying the other’s hands. It’s kind of funny to see how the older moves his fingers, because he seems to know _exactly_ what to do, when and how.

Changkyun’s never been good at FPS games, but he thinks it’s cool to watch someone else playing.

“The people that show up randomly.” he rests his cheek on Jooheon’s shoulder. “Why do you have to kill them?”

The other seems caught off guard by the gesture, tensing up for a second before relaxing again ― Changkyun decides not to call him out on that, because it’d make no difference to him at all and it’d probably make Jooheon get back to acting weird, and he _definitely_ doesn’t want that.

“Because they tried to kill me first.” the older mumbles quietly, tilting his head to the side so he can rest against the other’s hair. “I’d explain you the story if I didn’t think that you’d be sleeping by the half of it.”

“I’d like to protest.” Changkyun admits. “But that’s probably true, so…”

He can _feel_ Jooheon’s smile against his head, and it’s kind of funny that, even after everything they talked about and all the strange moments of closeness and shared thoughts, Changkyun still wants to annoy the fuck out of him.

“I have the book, if you’re interested.” Jooheon nuzzles against his hair, though his eyes never leave the game. “You can borrow it, if you want. It’s pretty cool.”

“Okay.” the younger holds his breath for a moment. “Okay.”

Jooheon keeps quiet after that, and so does Changkyun.

 **won.ho:** kukkungie

 **won.ho:** you do know that you don’t need to do like someone to kiss them, right?

 **i.am.what.i.am:** it’s not like that

 **i.am.what.i.am:** i mean

 **i.am.what.i.am:** dunno

 **i.am.what.i.am:** i don’t think it is

 **won.ho:** what’s the matter?

 **won.ho:** are you afraid that you will like it?

 **won.ho:** or are you afraid that you won’t?

Changkyun actually _stops_ to think about it. He doesn’t know, truth be told. He doesn’t have any idea.

 **i.am.what.i.am:** hipotetically

 **i.am.what.i.am:** if it had something to do with the fact that it makes you nervous

 **i.am.what.i.am:** more than the possibility of liking it or not

 **i.am.what.i.am:** what would you do?

 **won.ho:** nothing makes me nervous

Changkyun facepalms ― before he has the chance to find a snarky thing to say about that, Hoseok sends another messages.

 **won.ho:** but, like

 **won.ho:** as we’re talking about you

 **won.ho:** i think you should consider your options

 **i.am.what.i.am:** what do you mean?

 **won.ho:** like

 **won.ho:** you shouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable

 **won.ho:** because that’s not ok

 **won.ho:** but if it’s not it

 **won.ho:** then you should consider that you can have a good time?

 **won.ho:** but, like

 **won.ho:** if you don’t want it, that’s okay too

 **won.ho:** there’s nothing wrong with denying something you don’t want

 **i.am.what.i.am:** it doesn’t make me uncomfortable

 **i.am.what.i.am:** and it’s not that i don’t think it’d be good

 **i.am.what.i.am:** i just

 **i.am.what.i.am:** don’t know what to do?

 **won.ho:** you’re confusing D:

 **won.ho:** (but, seriously)

 **won.ho:** (just, idk, do what makes you feel ok?)

 **i.am.what.i.am:** you’re not helping ;-;

 **i.am.what.i.am:** (what if i want them to kiss me?)

 **won.ho:** then ask for it

Changkyun stops typing, staring at the screen. Jooheon notices the sudden tension on his body and glances briefly at him. Instinctively, the younger swipes his thumb over the screen, blocking the talk. If the other finds it strange or suspicious, he doesn’t say anything, and, after a moment or two, he notices that Changkyun won’t talk about it and gets his attention back to the game.

The younger resists the urge to sigh, breathing deeply instead.

 **i.am.what.i.am:** i’ll think about that

 **won.ho:** okay, good luck \O

 **won.ho:** also, Gun and I are coming over today

 **i.am.what.i.am:** what?

 **won.ho:** he forgot a project he needs to finish ‘til monday ¬_¬

 **won.ho:** we’ll need to get it

“You gotta be kidding me.” Changkyun curses. “I can’t believe that.”

Actually, he _can._ Gunhee would totally do that, there’s no denying it.

“What’s up?” Jooheon looks at him, concern lacing his voice.

Changkyun sits properly, putting a bit of distance between them and holding up a finger to ask for silence.

“Give me a second.”

 **i.am.what.i.am:** tell me you’re lying

 **won.ho:** lol you wish

 **won.ho:** also, kiss Jooheonie out of Gun’s line of vision

 **won.ho:** he’ll totally flip his shit if you do that in front of him

 **won.ho:** and i can’t deal with him fanboying over you two again

Changkyun freezes. Stares at the screen. Looks up to meet Jooheon’s confused gaze. Blinks. Stares back at the screen.

 **i.am.what.i.am:** oh my god

 **i.am.what.i.am:** oh my god i hate you

 **won.ho:** love you too, my smol potato child :D

The younger groans, locks the screen again and fights the need to cross his arms, sulking. Jooheon’s still watching him in confused silence.

“Gun and Wonho are coming tonight.” Changkyun explains, seeing as the realization hits the older. “Apparently, Gun forgot he has a life that doesn’t involve pranking people and needs to get his things done.”

“Oh.” Jooheon says, and he seems out of place. “I – that’s good, I guess?”

Changkyun ignores the heavy tug of something strange on his chest, staring at him in fake disbelief.

“Good? That’s fucking _awesome!”_ he moves his chained hand to show just how much it restricts his movements. “Do you think I can hit Gun like that? I can’t! He better be ready to run.”

Jooheon gives him a toothy smile, much like the one he gave him the night before. Changkyun’s shoulders instinctively relax, a tension he didn’t even know it was there leaving and making him feel at ease. He _knows_ what Jooheon thought, and he doesn’t like that.

“Do you know what time they’ll come?”

“Nope. I’ll ask, hold on.”

 **i.am.what.i.am:** when will you come?

 **won.ho:** idk

 **won.ho:** dinner time? a bit before that, i think

It’s already seven in the afternoon. Knowing Hoseok like he knows, Changkyun’s well aware that ‘dinner time’ can mean anytime from eight to midnight. He mumbles a curse and answers a brief _‘ok, thanks’_ before turning back to Jooheon.

“Wonho said they’re coming for dinner.”

“Does that mean they’re coming before midnight?”

Changkyun laughs.

“I think so.”

Jooheon gives him a small smile before looking briefly at the game he was playing before switching back to the younger. He seems thoughtful for a moment.

“Well, do you have anything you want to do while we wait? Or before they come or anything like that?”

Changkyun knows that it’s not what the other’s trying to imply, but his mind wanders anyway. He takes a moment to himself, weighting options and choices before finally making a decision.

“Actually, yes. There’s something.”

Jooheon watches him with curious, confused eyes.

“What is it?”

The answer comes out blunt, honest.

“I want you to kiss me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¹I tried to make Wonho from a neutral point of view (like, he cares about Jooheon, but he also cares about Changkyun, and he wouldn't try and make them get together if he thinks one of them will be uncomfortable or will eventually regret it? I have no idea). Idk if it worked.
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	14. heartaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun gasps dramatically. Jooheon laughs. Changkyun slaps him for it.  
> They kiss again after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aND THAT'S IT. I'M DONE FOR NOVEMBER.  
> SEE Y'ALL IN DECEMBER PEOPLE  
>  ~~but no, seriously~~  
>  I'll probably update again by the end of the month or something, if inspiration hits or anything like that  
>  ~~or if I'm not too riled up with college-related things, ha~~  
>  Hope you like it! :3

The words ring on Jooheon’s ears like a bell.

He stares at Changkyun with a blank gaze, barely blinking, and it takes him almost five whole minutes to react. The information takes a lot to sink in ― when it does, Jooheon feels like screaming. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know what the fuck is going on; he doesn’t know what’s going through the younger’s mind, why he’s doing what he’s doing, and Jooheon’s not even sure he wants to.

Changkyun stares at him, and there’s nothing but clear, pure determination inside his eyes. It makes Jooheon nervous, anxiety crawling up from the pitch of his stomach and swirling around his lungs like a venomous snake. He swallows audibly, his mouth suddenly dry, and, ever so slowly, approaches the younger, his eyes never leaving the boy’s face.

He won’t ask if it’s okay ― he knows that, if it’s not, Changkyun will tell him, because the boy’s not the type to stay quiet when there’s something bothering or upseting him. He won’t ask if it’s a one time thing either, because Jooheon may not be the smartest person out there, but he sure as hell knows that things don’t change from day to night ― it’s not the sudden closeness, nor the fac that Changkyun  _ asked _ for a kiss that changes anything they’ve done or lived until now. It may be a chance,  but it’s nothing but that.

Even then, it feels surreal. He holds the younger’s face with only one hand, pressing their foreheads together and breathing slowly, trying not to let so clear how wildly his own heart’s beating. Changkyun takes in a deep breath, a faint blush taiting his cheeks, and it turns his features so delicate, so soft, even more when he’s so close.

Jooheon’s heart makes a funny thing inside his chest, feeling too full, too warm.

“You’re crazy, Kyunnie.” he mumbles quietly, and doesn’t even try to take the smile out of his voice. “Crazy.”

Changkyun would probably answer him ― the fire that lights up in his eyes tells that much ―, but the older doesn’t let him. Jooheon leans in, pressing their lips together in a soft gesture.

The kiss is not rushed ― he wouldn’t let it be. Jooheon takes his time, running a thumb over Changkyun’s cheek, fingers stretching to touch the boy’s hair, to caress the soft dark locks and push him closer, mouth opening just a bit so he can press the tip of his tongue over Changkyun’s lips, gently parting them so he can kiss him fully.

Changkyun makes a low sound at the back of his throat, humming contently and bringing his hand to grab Jooheon’s face and press back at him. It feels good. It feels better than the older thought it would, and he can’t help but smile against the boy’s lips. Changkyun takes that chance and bites Jooheon’s lower lip, sucking it between his, and something inside the older  _ melts, _ warmth washing over his senses and leaving him a bit starstruck.

He forgets everything else for a moment and tries to put both of his hands on either sides of Changkyun’s face ― the gesture doesn’t end well. The chain doesn’t let him, tugging stubbornly at his wrist and making both of them jump a little in surprise. The younger breaks the kiss ― ignoring Jooheon’s unhappy whine ― and looks down at their wrists, blinking slowly, his breath heavy, his lips wet and half-parted. The older watches him for a moment, fondness warming up his heart. Changkyun notices, turning his gaze back to him and winking.

“Stop staring, hyung.” he teases, half joking, half serious.

Jooheon scoffs and bumps him with his shoulder.

“Stop calling me that, it feels weird.”

He  _ sees _ it coming. The younger’s eyes light up, his shoulders relax, his mouth quirks up at the corners.

“But you’re old.”

“And you’re disrespectful.”

Changkyun gasps dramatically. Jooheon laughs. Changkyun slaps him for it.

They kiss again after that.

*

“He’ll kill me.”

“He totally will.”

“You were supposed to make me feel better!”

Hoseok laughs openly at Gunhee’s pout. The younger’s been talking non-stop since they left Hoseok’s apartment, but only now that they’re on Gunhee’s house that he seems to be getting worried about the possibility of Changkyun being mad at him.

_ “C’mon, _ hyung.” he pleads, even though they’re already in front of the place, half a step away from entering the house. “He’ll want my head on a silver plate! Can’t I, like, fail that test and try again the next time?”

The older gives him a devilish smile, knowing that Gunhee’s only complaining for the sake of complaining. It’s fun to see the boy pouting and whining like an overgrown child. He gently taps Gunhee’s head ― not minding the mean look he receives, because Gun’s harmless as a butterfly ― before pushing him through the front door.

“Don’t worry.” Hoseok says, and, even though there’s a bit of teasing on his voice, his hands are gentle over the younger’s shoulders. “If he was so mad at you, he would’ve said something. You know how kukkungie is.”

Gunhee doesn’t say anything, but he seems a bit more calm, and Hoseok considers it enough. The house is unusually quiet, and the older tries not to worry too much when they close the door and start wandering around ― if Gunhee’s not worried, Hoseok shouldn’t, either.

He tries to follow that line of thought, until the younger suddenly stops walking; as Hoseok wasn’t paying enough attention to avoid it, they end up tripping over each other. The older looks up to ask him what’s wrong, but what he sees instead makes him stop dead on his tracks.

Changkyun and Jooheon are on the couch, holding each other’s face and kissing like they’re in one of those soap operas that Gunhee not-so-secretly likes to watch on his free time. Hoseok blinks. They’re still kissing. He pinches himself, eyes widening in surprise when, still, nothing in the scene changes. He turns to Gunhee once more.

The younger’s eyes are wide as saucers.

“Oh my god.” it’s the first things that comes out of his mouth, and then he starts searching for something inside his pockets, repeating, mostly to himself: “Oh my god, they’re so  _ cute _ it physically  _ pains _ me. Quick, grab my phone!”

Hoseok frowns, completely lost, but handles him the phone anyway.

“What are you –”

_ Flash. _ the sudden light and the inconfundible sound of a camera being used interrupt him. The surprise and the confusion on Hoseok’s face are replaced by disbelief.

“Gunhee.  _ Gunhee.” _ his voice gets a bit higher. “Tell me you  _ didn’t _ take a picture of our friends kissing on the couch.”

The younger winks at him.

“I  _ totally _ took a picture of our friends kissing on the couch.”

Hoseok stares at him.

“I think that’s –”

“Totally  _ awesome, _ isn’t it?”

There’s a moment of silence.

“... I was going to say crazy. Changkyun-ah will totally kill you.”

“Nah.” Gunhee shakes his head, looking down at his phone screen. “He’ll thank me later.”

Hoseok  _ cringes. _

“You’re delusional.”

The younger rolls his eyes at him.

“Shhh.”

“Can you stop pretending we’re not here?”

Both Gunhee and Hoseok look up so fast that you’d think someone just offended them. Changkyun’s looking at the duo with a quirked eyebrow, and Jooheon has this amused look on his eyes, lips twisted a little bit, deep dimples showing. Gunhee blushes ever so slightly, and Hoseok rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“So?” Changkyun pressures.

“Uh, hi?” Gunhee gives him a toothy, childish smile. “It’s good to see that you two stopped trying to kill each other.”

Jooheon laughs. Changkyun facepalms. Hoseok groans.

Gunhee  _ is, _ indeed, a lost cause.

“Yeah, yeah, nice to see you again too.” Changkyun extends his arm, making a motion of ‘grabby hands’ at the other, and he seems a lot like an angry little boy ― Hoseok fights back the smile that creeps onto his face, but his mouth still moves up a bit at the corners. Jooheon notices it and gives him a full-on smile. “Can you give me the keys now?”

Because he still has some kind of survival instinct working, Gunhee looks briefly at Hoseok before doing anything. The older nods ― because, honestly, if Changkyun was  _ really _ mad at them, he wouldn’t be so composed right now ―, and so he doesn’t hesitate in approaching and handling their maknae the key to free him from the chains. Changkyun hums contently and flashes him a smile before focusing on getting the metal thing far away from him.

As the younger frees them, Jooheon takes the cue to lean against his shoulder, and Gunhee watches in complete awe as Changkyun throws the chains and keys on the floor before turning to the other boy to kiss him once more. Hoseok just looks at them in silence, trying to process exactly  _ what the fuck is going on. _

“Uh, don’t mind me, I love that you guys are, like, happy at sucking each other’s face but – uh – does that mean you’re not mad anymore?”

“Nope.” Changkyun doesn’t take his eyes of Jooheon while talking, his fingers playing with the boy’s hair. “It means that I’m lazy and trying to think of what I’m going to do with you.”

Gunhee’s eyes widen. He immediately starts complaining ― much to Hoseok’s amusement, who, just like Jooheon, can see that he’s not worried at all.

“But I didn’t do anything!”

“Wrong answer.” Changkyun half sings, half states.

Gunhee pouts. Jooheon discreetely wraps an arm around their maknae’s shoulders. Hoseok approaches quietly, smiling at the scene. He can see that, even with a threatening glint in his eyes ― that usually means he’s about to do something, though this look’s almost always used solely on Jooheon ―, Changkyun doesn’t mean any harm, he’s not really upset or angry or annoyed.

Maybe he was before, but now he’s not, and that’s all it matters for Hoseok.

 

That and the fact that now apparently Changkyun and Jooheon are in some kind of weird friends with benefits relationship going on. Uh. He’ll need to talk about it with them later. Make sure that they’re not about to get back to try and kill each other and all of that.

God forbid him, but Hoseok will kill both of them  _ and _ Gunhee if they do.

(Really. What a problematic group of boys.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3


	15. about mustaches and late dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not that I am complaining about the amount of people that are reading this but i aM KIND OF COMPLAINING.  
> AND TOTALLY AWESTRUCK. AND SCARED. AND WHERE DID ALL OF YOU EVEN COME FROM?  
>  ~~I'm kind of joking but I'm not. Numbers related to people scare me.~~  
>  also, consider yourself hugged ~o3o~  
> because I'm also glad ~o3o~  
> even though I'm anxious ~o3o~  
> Hope you enjoy it! \O
> 
> PS.: I'll explain my absence in the end notes :3

Changkyun and Jooheon are not dating.

Really, they’re not.

Gunhee might think so ― just like the majority of their friends ―, but Changkyun knows better. They. Are. Not. Dating. Got it? Good. That’s it. There’s no big deal. There’s no changing that. Changkyun’s not bothered and Jooheon doesn’t seem to mind, and he doesn’t get why that’s so important to other people. Even because sometimes ― most of it, if he’s being honest to himself ― Changkyun still wants to hit him.

Jooheon’s nosy. He’s clingy. He likes to annoy the fuck out of him, and just because they’ve been making out a lot for the last few weeks doesn’t mean that he stopped. Part of Changkyun’s glad he does ― if he didn’t, Jooheon would be a liar ―, but, mos of the time, the younger just wants to make him shut up.

“What are you doing?”

“Studying.”

“You’ve been doing that for the past two hours.”

“Yep.”

“Wanna hang out?”

“Nope.”

“Wanna make out?”

“Also no.”

Changkyun tries to keep a straight face when Jooheon makes an  _ ‘oof’ _ sound, like he’s just been hit ― but then the small Gunhee at the back of his mind laughs so hard that it’s impossible not to let his lips quirk up a little at the corners.

“What?” Jooheon pouts childishly at him. “You’re mocking me. I feel hurt.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes with the drama and bumps their shoulders.

“Stop that. I really need to study, Jooheon.”

Jooheon’s pout grows and he pokes the younger’s cheek. Changkyun gently slaps his hand away.

“But I want to hang out with you.”

“Sorry, no can do.” Changkyun shakes his head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Jooheon mutters ‘workaholic’ under his breath. Changkyun elbows him in the ribs. The older winces and pushes his chair away from him.

“You’re mean.” he complains, though there’s no real hurt in his eyes.

The younger just shrugs.

“You deserve it.”

Jooheon stares at him in disbelief for a few seconds. Changkyun gives him a toothy grin.

“Well, if you don’t have anything more to say, I’ll go back to –”

“Can I stay?”

The question takes him with his guard off. He blinks.

“Sure.” is the answer that comes out of his mouth before he can even think about it. “Why not?”

Jooheon’s shoulders relax. He gives the younger a wink and pushes Changkyun’s things aside so he can put his arms on the table and rest his head between them. The happy look on his face makes the younger think of a happy puppy ― something soft tugs at the bottom of his heart, Changkyun shakes his head to get rid of it.

“Just keep quiet.” he says, turning his eyes back to the books to try and pretend that his cheeks are not warm, that he’s not blushing. “I’ll kick you if you don’t.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Jooheon scoffs. “Don’t worry about that, Mr. I’M Workaholic.”

Changkyun smacks his head ― not so gentle this time ―, but Jooheon’s laughing so hard he barely notices it. They stay like that for a while, the younger’s hand resting on the other’s neck, softly scratching from time to time, the older humming contently in a low tone, without any word being actually said out loud.

It’s not familiar, but it’s comfortable. Changkyun thinks he can learn to live with that.

“Kyunnie?”

He lifts his head up to look at him. Jooheon has this sleepy gaze, blinking slowly like his eyelids are heavy. Part of the younger wants to squish his cheeks, to poke his dimples, to nuzzle against him and sleep as well ― the other part wants to push him out of that chair and forbid him from  _ ever _ looking this cute again.

Changkyun swallows dry.

“Yeah?”

“Wanna go out?” and, before the younger can take the chance to scold him for bringing back the subject, Jooheon adds sleepily: “On Friday. After your exam. We could go somewhere. I don’t know. What do you think?”

Changkyun thinks about it. Caresses Jooheon’s hair. The older closes his eyes and sighs deeply, pratically  _ purring _ under his hands.

“It depends.”

“Of…?”

He smiles at the other’s weak answer. Jooheon’s already too far gone on his sleepy state, and  _ that’s cute. _ Ugh. It’s not fair.

“Will you pay?”

“Uhum.” Jooheon nuzzles against his hand. “Anything you want.”

Changkyun smiles devilishly.

“Anything?”

“I’ll regret that later.” the older mumbles, and opens his eyes just a bit so he can look at Changkyun and give him a half smile. “Yeah, yeah. Anything.”

Something about his sleepy-induced self makes Changkyun’s chest feel warm. He pats Jooheon’s head gently, humming to himself.

“Okay.” he answers, and Jooheon’s lips stay turned upwards even when he closes his eyes, mumbling mostly to himself:

“Okay.”

Jooheon’s fast to sleep after that.

Changkyun doesn’t bother him ― but he  _ does _ draw a mustache above the older’s lips, feeling absolutely no guilt about it.

Ha. Like he’d  _ ever _ lose that chance.

 

(And maybe he  _ does _ have a crush on Jooheon. Like, a light crush. The small, tiniest crush.

Somehow, Changkyun doesn’t mind it as much as he thought he would.)

*

Changkyun ends up convincing Jooheon to stay home instead of going out. It’s not that he  _ doesn’t want _ to go out ― he does ―, but he’s tired and he’s grumpy and he wants to cuddle. Jooheon seems to find it funny, if the amused smile on his face is anything to go by, and Changkyun hides against his chest to pretend his face isn’t burning with embarassement.

“Don’t.” he says, before the older has the chance to tease him about it. “I’m tired. And hungry. And I’ll bite you.”

Jooheon chuckles and gently caresses his hair. Changkyun’s shoulders relax a bit, tension leaving his body.

“I wouldn’t doubt that.” the older moves a bit so they can be a little more comfortable, arms wrapping around Changkyun’s middle and pushing him closer. “Want me to buy take out?”

“Nah.” the younger nuzzles against his chest. “I’m comfy.”

Jooheon arches an eyebrow.

“Really?” he shakes his head in disbelief, smile growing. “You’re such a  _ child.” _

Changkyun pouts. Pinches him on his side. Jooheon squeals and jumps in place, hand shooting up to hold the younger’s wrists. Changkyun winks.

“Don’t be mean to me.”

Jooheon furrows his eyebrows together.

_ “You _ are mean to me. That’s not fair.”

Changkyun shrugs nonchalantly.

“I never said it would be.”

The older squints his eyes a bit and leans closer. Changkyun’s heart makes a funny thing inside his ribcage, fluttering wildly. His cheeks slowly start to redden, blush creeping onto his face and ears.

“Are we not playing fair, then?” Jooheon asks very, very quietly, pressing their foreheads together and staring intently at him.

_ Oh, shit. _ Shit, shit,  _ shit. _

“Uh – no?” Changkyun stutters out, eyes wide, cheeks tainted in deep red.

Jooheon smiles, lips turning slightly upwards, barely enough to be seen, but more than enough to make a shiver run down the younger’s spine. Suddenly, Changkyun’s  _ very _ conscious about Jooheon’s hands on his back and hips, the way his thumbs keep running circles above his clothes, warming up his skin.

“Good to know.” the older mumbles, and presses their lips together.

Changkyun completely  _ melts _ inside, going as far as sighing against the other’s mouth, fingers wrapping up on Jooheon’s hair and pushing him closer. Jooheon hums contently, and Changkyun feels the vibration, the sound  _ inside his bones. _ It takes away his breath and makes him bite Jooheon’s lower lip, sucking it between his teeth and smiling faintly when the older  _ mewls _ on his mouth, shuddering. Jooheon’s hands peek under his shirt, just above the waistband of Changkyun’s jeans, and his fingers are so warm, so soft, his touch so careful and hesitant.

Changkyun’s halfway through sitting on Jooheon’s lap and wrapping his arms around the boy’s neck when they’re interrupted.

“Wow, man, no PDA here! Let’s keep it G rated, please!”

Jooheon freezes and breaks the kiss. They stare at each other for a moment, and he’s almost strawberry red from embarassement. Changkyun doesn’t understand it at first, and then Jooheon groans and hides his face against the crook of the younger’s neck, and he almost smiles from how  _ surprising _ it is that, after  _ everything, _ Jooheon’s still the type to get shy after being caught by his best friend kissing someone.

Said best friend that, currently, is staring at them with features twisted between horrified and embarassed.

Oh.  _ Oh. _ Changkyun smiles devilishly.

“Oh, no.” Gunhee’s eyes widen a bit. “Oh, no, he’s with that look again. Please, tell me you won’t –”

Changkyun ignores him in favor of pressing a kiss against Jooheon’s temple, making sure to never takes his eyes off Gunhee. He watches, in amused silence, as the other blushes harder and harder the lower he gets. When Changkyun’s lips find a sensitive spot on Jooheon’s skin ― somewhere on his neck, next to his earlobe ―, the older whimpers, and Gunhee’s hand immediately shots up to cover his eyes.

“Oh my god! Oh my god, they’re doing the dirty! They’re doing the dirty on my couch! I’m moving out of this house! I’m moving in with Hoseok! Call me when you’re don – no, no, don’t call me! Don’t call me!”

The only sounds after that are Gunhee’s fast steps leaving the place and Changkyun’s loud, non-stopping laugh.

Jooheon’s still red as a tomato, but he lifts his head up to give the younger an amused look.

“You’ll never let him live this down, will you?”

Changkyun’s answer is a teasing smirk.

Jooheon laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> x SO yay. Sorry. I thought I could keep myself ahead in the whole writing thing but jOKE'S ON ME I CAN'T :DD the last 8 chapters I posted were made in a rush of inspiration, but then I wrote the epilogue and got stuck in chapter 16. And then school came back to bite me and I was making tests until at least half of december. Beside that, I decided to enter on as many challenges and bingos I could find because I'm a little shit :D but really. I'm sorry about that. I don't plan on doing it again, but, being honest, I have no control over that kind of thing, so. No promises.
> 
> I'll try to keep any update on Twitter, if anyone's interested? ~~tbh I don't know. the site still kind of intimidates me.~~
> 
> Any question/request/desire to talk about anything, you can contact me here, [ tumblr](http://firewasntmadetobeheldinhumanskin.tumblr.com/), [ twitter](https://twitter.com/notmadetobeheld) or [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/notmadetobeheld) :3
> 
> Hope you liked it, see you later! \O


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